Beneathyoualways - A Work In Progress...(i'm A)

Some really good information here without being to focused on kink.

Are You a Service Submissive...

By Ally,

“I am not a submissive,” you say. “I just believe women should be taken care of and I enjoy doing things for them that make their lives easier…

You might say “that doesn’t make me a submissive, that just makes me a nice guy who likes to help out.” You can keep telling you friend this, and whether she says it or not, she will know inside that you are wrong, that you are a submissive - a service submissive, whether you know it or not.

What is the Difference between a Service Submissive and a Regular Submissive? Technically, a service submissive is a type of submissive. You don’t have to be into the BDSM lifestyle to be classified as a submissive. Many men and women are submissive by nature whether they practice the BDSM lifestyle or not. Many people who are considered “laid back” or “soft-spoken” are naturally submissive in their daily lives, as well as in the bedroom. These “go-with-the-flow” type people usually do whatever the majority want to do, whether they might have been interested in something else, or not.

A service submissive can be the husband who enjoys taking care of all the chores around the house so his wife can have more free time to go shopping or hang out with her friends. He may be the boyfriend who enjoys bathing his princess, giving her foot massages, and anything else she enjoys that will make her feel pampered. He might even be “friend-zoned” to some young woman writing all her college papers. While his main goal is to make her feel pampered, even worshiped, his secondary goal is to receive the praise that he is almost sure to receive if he pleases her properly.

Looking for Approval The main goal of a service submissive is to please to the point of praise. While his ultimate goal is her satisfaction, her pleasure, he seeks her acceptance, her praise as his gratification. The ultimate disappointment for a service submissive is to be told he has caused her disappointment. If she is disappointed in him, that means he didn’t do his job. Not only is he upset at her disappointment, but he’s upset at his own inability to gain her approval.

Some would say that seeking this approval is a way of topping from the bottom, of being in control while giving the illusion of submission. In some cases, that can certainly be true. Some so-called submissives manipulate what they do and when and how they do it just so they will receive that praise that they so badly crave. In most cases, though, it’s not so much about gaining validation as it is about pleasing her to the point that she feels compelled to point out a job well done. The main goal of the service submissive is to please his Mistress but he certainly holds a secondary goal of pleasing her to the point of dishing out her praise.

If it Walks Like a Submissive, Talks Like a Submissive, then… …it must be a submissive! Just because a person doesn’t consider themselves a lifestyle submissive, it does not mean they aren’t submissive. Those who enjoy pleasing, who enjoy pampering, who enjoy doing things to help out their significant other are no-doubt service submissives. They can tell themselves otherwise, try to talk themselves out of it, but it doesn’t change what they are. A submissive who happens to enjoy serving!

When you assume the role of a submissive or slave, the pleasure of your Mistress is of utmost importance. For some men, the draw of female dominance is inexplicable. They feel an inherent drive to be subservient to women. For others, the appeal of femdom is nurtured over time and throughout life experiences with assertive, dominant women. In any case, as a sub, your foremost concern is impressing, pleasing, and amusing your Mistress.

Of course, pleasing your Mistress is also in your best interest. When your Mistress is pleased, you will be too. A satisfied, happy Mistress will ensure that all of your submissive fantasies, desires, and needs are met. And even more, you’ll enjoy the personal satisfaction of knowing that you’ve properly and adequately served the woman you worship and admire.

It’s a simple system: happy Lady, happy sub.

The Power of Female Dominance And many males start out as a service submissive, too misunderstanding of their own desires, or too cowardly to go further with it, simply because while surrendering your control to a strong, dominant woman is a thrill, the loss of control can be terrifying.

Whether you consider yourself a natural submissive or you simply enjoy the role reversal from your everyday stress, submission can be physically, emotionally, and psychologically fulfilling. When you please your Mistress and submit to her control, you can enjoy a strong sense of sub space, which is defined as an altered psychological state experienced by the submissive participant. While everyone’s experience with subspace is unique, many people feel an intense connectedness with their scene partner, a strong focus on their sensations, and even a rushing release of endorphins that simulates a natural high.

Worship the Being of Your Mistress One of the best ways to please is your Lady is to worship her entire being, her mind, her moods, and her physical self. Body worship is defined as revering a part of another person’s body. Every centermeter of your Lady is worthy of worship, but the most common areas of attention are the feet, legs, ass, and pussy. If you want to get into the good graces of your Lady, a dedicated foot massage is a perfect way to show your appreciation for her pedicured feet.

Worshiping your Lady can be especially delectable if she offers you the opportunity to serve her pussy or ass. Imagine being a piece of human furniture as she sits on your face for a long, thorough tongue worship session. You live to serve, so work tirelessly to make sure that your Lady is happy and satisfied.

Entertain You Mistress With Humiliation If you have a taste for humiliation, you can please your Mistress by amusing her with acts of self-deprecation and embarrassment. Submit your ego to a verbal humiliation assault, or surrender your body to be dressed, paddled, or fucked by your Mistress! Your Mistress will have all kinds of devious scenarios in mind.

Maybe you’ll be her newly hired slutty secretary in a coerced feminization role play. Perhaps you might be the humbled cuckold made to watch her as her lover compensates for your tiny penis. Whatever deliciously humiliating scenario she concocts, be sure of one thing: your humiliation is her pleasure.

And *that*, little boy, is all that matters…

Thanks to Ally and Female Supremacy

#FLR

Time and place. There are people who, in the real world can run the master slave relationship. It is a honed skill. They do not impose on others around them unless the sub or slave has gone off the rails.

Communication and practice are key.

🙏🏼

Thank you for the detailed response!

:)  No problem.  Sometimes I’m just crazy busy and can’t do anything on Tumblr.  Othertimes its something I’m drawn to and use as a release.

I’m happy to answer any questions (almost).

We have had a similar experience trying to find the right cage. It’s either too big and doesnt stay in place, or he complains about it being too tight. I’ll have to look at the Bon4M.

Its apparently a common problem.  We went through lots of different models.  No idea if the Bon4M will fit your hubbie.

I love the idea of the whole month of October coming up!

Right?  Its totally hot!!!

But, I can see myself running into the same problems that you did.   My husband is always giving me an excuse of why the cage needs to come off.  

Ha!  You too?  Seriously, some of it is cute, but a lot of times its just irritating, and I get sick of his badgering.  Sometimes, I’m tempted to just throw him the key and tell him I’m not playing anymore.

BUT…  We’re working on our “wish lists”.  I’m writing down everything I want, he’s writing down everything he wants, and we’re going to work from there, writing back and forth to distill it to a set of rules.

My wish list is almost done, should be done in a few more days.  We set a hard deadline of Friday, but we might have it done before then.

The spanking sounds hot! I’ve never done that though, and I dont know how he would react.

That’s probably something you want to negotiate with him beforehand.  Or not.  Fuck it, he’s your husband.  Just tell him he’s a “bad boy”, spank him and see what happens.  :D

There can never be enough!!

…share and share alike, right sweetheart?! xoxox, emmie @ le cocu quotidien.