A Little Add On To My Last Thought

Impress You [S.R.]

Request: Can I request a Scott reed x reader where they’ve been flirting for a while and Monty or someone convinces her to go to the clubhouse cause “it’ll show Scott you’re cool enough for him” or something so she drinks a little to steel her nerves but it’s spiked and when Scott shows up he takes her home and makes sure she’s okay and then asks her out when she sobers up

Please don’t plagiarize my work!

Word Count: 1,487

You hesitantly follow Monty into the Clubhouse, unable to stop the nerves that flood your entire being as you duck your head slightly to walk through the door way. At first the entire room is too dark to see, but one flick of the light switch and suddenly you find the door being shut behind you, the boy you didn’t know meeting your eyes when you glanced back at him nervously.

Swallowing thickly, you take another step forward, letting your eyes wander across the small storage room. There isn’t much too it other than an older looking couch, some shelves with baseball gear on it and other random things laying around. 

However, you do notice the lack of people there besides Monty, yourself and the other boy. Especially the lack of a certain Scott Reed, who you’d been promised would be here.

“Uh, where’s Scott?”

Monty’s eyes flicker up from the box he’d been digging through, regarding you with a bright smirk. “Don’t worry,” he assures, though he does the opposite of that, as he pushes himself up to his feet. “Reed’ll be here soon. Now, come,” you tense as his hand falls on your lower back, guiding you over to the couch. “Sit.”

Before you know it, you find yourself wedged between both Monty and the other boy, Jake you’d learned his name was. Monty’s arm is wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you closer against himself as he takes a hit beside you, the smoke causing your eyes to narrow in discomfort. You were suddenly starting to feel both completely out of your league and not to mention, uncomfortable. You’d only come along with Monty because you wanted to impress Scott, as Monty said it would.

But now, you were wishing you hadn’t. Impressing your crush wasn’t nearly enough to sit through this uncomfortable and honestly, scary situation. You weren’t oblivious to the looks Monty sometimes sent you when he thought he caught your attention and you weren’t oblivious to the reputation he upheld either.

“Want some?”

You blink when you realize Monty is now holding the joint before your face. Eyes widening, you turn to meet his gaze; “oh no,” you say softly, unsure. “I’m good.”

“Come on,” Monty encourages, “just a small hit.”

“It’ll feel nice,” Jake encourages from your left.

Jaw clenching, you part your lips to refuse once again but Monty only shoves the joint closer to your face. With a shaky breath, you raise your hand, moving to grab the joint but before you can actually take it, the sound of the door opening catches your attention. For a moment, you’re hopeful that it’s Scott, but your heart drops almost instantly when instead of seeing just Scott, you see Bryce as well.

Oh God. This was a mistake.

Biting your bottom lip, you curl into yourself when Bryce’s eyes fall on you. Subsequently, Scott realizes your there at the same time, but you can barely focus on him at the bright smirk that grows on Bryce’s lips. “I definitely wasn’t expecting to see you here anytime soon, Y/L/N,” Bryce comments, raising a brow at you as he tosses his bag down beside him. “What’d Monty have to do to convince you?”

“Just some motivation,” Monty smirks, standing up from his spot beside you which instantly causes a bout of relief to flood you.

It’s then that your eyes finally settle on Scott, meeting his gaze as he never tears his own off of you. You can’t be sure, but he almost seems panicked rather then happy at the sight of you and his lips are curved downwards in a deep frown as he hesitates on following Bryce inside. His hand is left resting on his backpack strap, as if ready to leave any second.

You really hope he doesn’t. 

“Here,” Bryce calls, pulling your eyes on him and the cup he holds towards you. “Something better than the weed.”

As your eyes land on the red solo cup, you hesitantly reach forward, knowing better then to argue given that you know these guys won’t be persuaded otherwise. But as you settle back in your spot, you stare down at the dark liquid, hesitating on pulling it up to your lips.

Just then, Bryce moves towards you and you feel your breath get caught in your throat when you realize he’s moving to sit next to you, replacing Monty. But before he can, a figure practically crashes down next to you. Your eyes widen when you realize it’s Scott, your lips parting when he presses himself against you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. Yet, it’s different then how Monty had. It’s almost protectively.

“Woah,” Bryce laughs, holding his hands out before him as he raises a brow down at Scott. “If you wanted to sit Reed, you could’ve just said so.”

You watch as Scott swallows nervously, “my legs were tired.”

“Sure, buddy.”

Scott turns to look at you then, taking a chance to lean forward the moment Bryce and Monty are distracted. “Don’t drink out of the cup,” he warns in a low whisper, causing your entire body to freeze. “Just follow my lead.”

You nod as he pulls away, just as Bryce crouches down before you.

“So, Y/N,” Bryce smirks at you, raising his free hand to let it rest on your knee. “Finally decided to take Monty up on that offer?”

“Yeah,” you laugh slightly, unable to hide how nervous you are. “Monty managed to convince me.”

“With the promise of our dear friend Scott,” Monty laughs, causing your cheeks to burn at his words. You tuck your chin into your neck when you feel Scott’s eyes fall on you, biting your lower lip. “And see,” Monty calls, pulling your eyes back on him. “I kept my promise, didn’t I?”

“Y/N, you haven’t drank any of your drink,” Bryce calls, brows furrowing up at you.

Shoulders tensing, your lips part to say something, but you find any words stuck in the back of your throat. What were you supposed to say? 

“That’s because Y/N has to still drive home,” Scott speaks up, “don’t you?”

Meeting his eyes, you nod; “o-oh, yeah. I actually have a big test tomorrow in chemistry, so…”

“Test?” Jake questions from beside you, speaking up in the first time in a long time. “I’m in your class, there’s no test.”

Shit. How had you never noticed him before?

“Well then,” Bryce laughs, “drink up, Y/N.”

“Actually,” Scott cuts in, leaning forward. “Y/N meant that i’ve got a big test in chemistry tomorrow that she’s helping me study. So, we probably shoulder stay much longer.” Scott stands up then, his hand slipping into your free one to pull you up to his feet. You follow his lead without hesitation.

Bryce straightens out in response; “you sure, buddy? I don’t remember you mentioning anything.”

“And since were you two acquainted?” Monty questions, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“She’s been helping me with my grades lately,” Scott explains, and you blink at the quickness. He’s definitely making it seem believable. “So, sorry to dip, but we should probably head out. Y/N?”

Swallowing thickly, you nod, turning. “Yeah, totally,” taking a step towards the door, you smile hesitantly back at the other three. “Thanks for inviting me though.”

When you turn back, Scott already has the door open, his hand slipping into yours once again as he hastily pulls you out and shutting the door behind him. He doesn’t stop walking until you’re a safe and appropriate distance away from the storage closet and of course, Bryce and Monty.

The moment he stops, you let out a breath of relief; “thank you,” you whisper, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Did you really go in there for me?”

Raising your eyes, you pause at Scott’s words, meeting his eyes. You hesitate on replying at first, unsure of what to say. But then, remembering how it probably saved you from something that could’ve been much worse than it was, you realize you probably owe an explanation. “Yeah, that and that I wanted to impress you, get you to notice me,” you explain ashamed. “Monty said that if I went there, it’d impress you, catch your eye so…”

Scott sighs, shaking his head. “You’ve already caught my eye,” Scott mumbles, causing you to blink up at him once again. “A long time ago. I just… I can’t believe Monty would do that.”

“Do what, Scott?”

Scott pauses, “just… just don’t go in there again, Y/N. Stay away from Monty and Bryce unless you’re with me, okay?”

You nod with ease. “Okay.”

“And don’t think you ever have to impress me, Y/N,” Scott whispers, taking a step towards you. “I already think you’re amazing.”

Flushing slightly, you lick your lips. “I think you’re pretty amazing as well,” you say, unable to hide the smile that grows on your lips.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

-

Let me know what you thought? Remember, reblogging always helps!

Requests are open for Scott Reed and Jeff Atkins!

if you voted for trump unadd me or block me cause i hate yall. you voted for women to have their rights taken away. you voted for a rapist. you voted for a racist. you voted for your future to become a dictatorship. you voted for a fucking convicted felon with several sexual assault charges. please get out of here if you were that delusional to vote for him.

@elenaakeith @chasekeithh @astoria-rios @m4ttthemunch @brooklyncameron @christophersturnn @nick-sturniolo @nick-stuxniolos-hg @kenzieeluby @madisonb44r @drewwstarkey @ettarosee @vhackerr @tarayummyy @carringtonxx @carringtonbestmodell @quenblackwell @llexiii @zarbruhhh

strike out

matt sturniolo x reader

summary: three times you try to get the attention of your boyfriend and one time he finally notices, but it’s to late. part two

warnings: swearing, major angst, kinda shitty boyfriend matt, break up

THE STREAMING INCIDENT

your day seemingly couldn’t have gotten worse. you started your morning with a flat tire. having to call a tow truck and an uber costing you a whopping three hundred dollars. you got to work and everything was going fine until you you cut your hand on a box opener causing you to have to get six stitches to your palm. all you wanted to do now was see your boyfriend and his brothers because you knew that could cheer you up.

walking up the stairs into the common area of the triplets house, you were already greeted with chris and nick. you could tell this is what you needed. you just needed to be around your favorite boys. “whoa kid what did you do to your hand?” chris exclaimed when he saw the blood covered gauze on your palm. “honestly chris i don’t really want to begin to talk about how shitty my day was,” you said with a chuckle, “but i cut it in a box opener at work and had to go get some stitches. no biggie.”

“no, that is a biggie,” nick said. “yeah just wait until matt finds out.” chris responds giving you a side hug. “we’re glad you’re okay now though. go get your man.”

with your spirits brightened you made your way to matt’s room. his lights were on and he was at his desk playing fortnite. you walked over to him with a smile etched on your face. once you got to him you put your arms around his shoulders from behind and rested your head on top of them. “hey i’m streaming,” he said gently removing you from him. he muted his mic for a minute telling the stream he’d be right back. your relationship was definitely no secret so him reacting this way was a bit confusing. he got up from his chair and pulled you out of frame from the stream. “i’m gonna be a little bit can you go wait in the living room?” before you got the chance to respond he was ushering you out of his room and closing the door in your face.

“hey what was that about?” chris asks from the couch. “no clue” you responded with a shrug.

a few hours went by with still no acknowledgement from matt. you decided you would say goodbye quick before heading home. you knocked on his door hearing a quick ‘come in’. opening the door to find him laying in bed. you were confused as to why he didn’t come out to see you or ask you to come sit with him, but you brushed it off.

“hey, i just wanted to let you know that i’m leaving.” you said with a smile that was quickly removed when matt barely noticed your presence. “matt?” he finally looked up. “i didn’t appreciate how you just barged into my room earlier. i was streaming and they didn’t have to see you all over me.” matt said raising his voice.

you were so incredibly shocked at his words that you were speechless. tears began to well up in your eyes. “i’m so sorry. it won’t happen again.” you quickly made your way out of his room and past nick and chris not wanting to raise suspicions due to your state. you went home that night feeling utterly alone and confused. strike one.

THE PARTY

Tara’s parties had become the biggest events of the year. when the boys introduced you to tara you guys immediately hit it off, becoming basically inseparable. when tara asked you to host a party with her you knew it was an opportunity you couldn’t turn down.

since matt missed her one million party he promised to join you guys at this one. you guys had tara’s house completely decked out in black and pink decorations. the dj was beginning to play music and drinks were being poured. people filled in quickly, and you and tara began to make your rounds. saying hi to everyone, taking shots, and dancing.

you weren’t a big drinker. it was safe to say that you and the triplets were the four most sober people in tara’s house, but that didn’t stop you from questioning yourself when you thought your eyes were fooling you. there matt was against a back wall of the living room talking to some random girl. you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but you couldn’t help how your stomach turned in jealousy as you watched them.

matt was supposed to be by your side tonight. you knew he wasn’t the biggest partier but you figured he’d at least take comfort by you as you guys enjoyed yourselves. you quickly made your way to nick and chris. “hey who’s that girl matt’s with?” you questioned. the music was so loud it was hard to hear their response, they both made comments about how they didn’t know who she was either. “i’m going to go talk to him.”

you pushed through the crowd, being stopped multiple times to take pictures. you adjusted your dress and finally made it to matt. he stopped his conversation as you slid you hand down his arm into his. he hastily yanked his hand away throwing you for a loop. you quickly collected yourself. “hey, i don’t want to interrupt, but i was wondering is you wanted to dance with me.” before matt could comment the girl across from his spoke up. “if you didn’t want to interrupt then why did you?” she asked with an attitude.

not wanting to get into a fight you simply scoffed and walked away. your heart broke a little bit when matt didn’t come after you. instead he went back to his conversation and you went to a bottle of vodka. strike two.

THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY

after your past two humiliating bad encounters, matt had become more and more distant with you. months had gone by where you felt like you were walking on eggshells everytime you were around him. some days he was your normal happy matt, but most days he was miserable and tired and mean. he made everything bad in his life your fault. you tried not to overthink it. everyone has bad days, but matt’s been having bad months and it’s starting to take a toll on you.

today was yours and matt’s two year anniversary. you were so excited but you couldn’t help but feel hesitant. you didn’t know what kind of mood matt was going to be in today. he had been in meetings with nick and chris that morning, but nick let you know that they were done at 2 so matt had agreed to meet you at 7.

these plans had been set in stone for weeks if not a month. you even reminded matt about it the night before to make sure he was still okay with the itinerary. you somehow had managed to get reservations to matt’s favorite restaurant and the place you had your first date. places like this booked out months in advance so you had stocked the waiting list for this exact day to open up. after that you guys were going to go to the theater. matt wasn’t a huge theater fan but he agreed because he knew how much you loved it, and because you made the dinner reservation based around him. it seemed only fair.

you left your house at 6:30 sending matt a quick text that you were heading to the restaurant, making it there just in time for your reservation. matt not being on time was unusual. so when you arrived before him it was a little shocking. you sent him another text asking him if he was on his way as the waiter brought you over to your table.

after an hour, 10 texts, 2 phone calls, and still no response from matt, the waiter came back over to your table politely asking you to leave as others were waiting to be seated. you couldn’t tell him no. even though you really wanted to keep waiting for matt you had a feeling he wasn’t going to show. you knew how hard it was to get a seat in this restaurant so you weren’t going to take that away from a happy couple who would enjoy it.

the tears didn’t come until you were safely in the car and out of the view of the public. you felt embarrassed. you had just been stood up by your boyfriend of two fucking years. you didn’t understand what had happened.

you tried calling him again from your car. it didn’t even ring this time. you were sent straight to voicemail. the tears came faster and the sobs became louder as you watched the sunset from your window. you decided calling chris might give you the best chance of reassurance. unlike your call to your boyfriend, chris picked up instantly. “hey kid! what’s up?aren’t you with matt for your anniversary?” chris’s energy seemed slightly draining to you in this moment. you tried to think of ways to respond without completely bashing his triplet brother out of the pain you were feeling. “actually that’s why i’m calling you… matt didn’t show up. i was wondering if you’ve seen or heard from him at all.” there was a brief moment of silence from chris as he tried to process the information he was just given. last he knew matt was with you, but as he made his way upstairs he realized matt was still in his room. “hey y/n/n, matt’s still in his room let me see what he’s doing. mute yourself for a sec, okay?”

you listened carefully to their conversation as you realized matt had no intentions meeting you tonight. “hey matt! what are you doing tonight?” “i’m going to that party with paige.” the mention of another girls name made your stomach turn. you didn’t want to believe matt was cheating on you. “what about y/n? wasn’t your anniversary thing tonight?” chris was trying to get the most information out of matt and you were internally grateful.

“i don’t know chris. i tuned her out months ago. she’s so needy. it’s not like i’m cheating on her i just need some space.” that’s when you decided you’d heard enough. you can’t believe the things matt’s said, but his words did match his actions so you weren’t totally surprised. one thing about matt was that he was always honest. even if it was at the expense of another.

you drove home that night in silence. hurt by matt, mad at yourself, and in shock at the world. strike three.

THE HALF-ASSED APOLOGY

since your anniversary date with matt that he blew off, you’ve decided to give him the space he apparently wants. even after a month, you still hadn’t heard anything from him. not a text, not a call, not even a lousy snapchat.

you had heard from nick and chris though. they were disappointed in matt, to say the least. as much as you wanted to be petty and still hangout with those two you knew it wasn’t right. they shouldn’t have to pick sides between their friend and their brother. family comes first, and that’s what you told them when they came over to your house begging you to come talk to matt. you stopped responding to them after that night.

since it had been a quite few weeks, you established a new routine that was the rotation of work and home. you know you shouldn’t have, but you watched every video the triplets had put out. your focus was always drawn to matt. you tried to pinpoint if there was a shift in his attitude or if he seemed different. it hurt when you realized he seemed happier.

you had just gotten home from work when you were making dinner and there was an interruption in your routine. a knock came to your front door. when you looked out and saw matt you were shocked. you could’ve never expected this. you spent the first two weeks of your separation wishing and hoping matt would show up at your front door, but now you don’t know if you want to hear what he has to say.

you quickly fixed your posture as you opened the front door. you wanted to look like you had your shit together even though you were slowly falling apart. matt spoke first, “can i come in?” you didn’t know if any words would come out if you even attempted to open your mouth so you opted to just open the door wider allowing him entrance.

“i wanted to come talk to you. i hadn’t heard from you in a while so i thought i’d come check up on you.” matt seemed so oblivious and this made you angry. you could feel the pain and frustration bring tears to your eyes. you were no longer crying out of sadness.

“matt…i’m going to be so for real with you right now.” you paused to take a deep breath. you were trying so hard to keep your composure. “i genuinely don’t know what’s going through your head. how can you sit here and say you want to check up on me when i haven’t heard a peep out of you for a month matt. a fucking month.” “i know i’m sorry-” “i’m not done. you abandoned me on our anniversary to go to some random assholes party with a girl you barely know. you told chris that you didn’t care about us and that i was needy.” he looked at you in surprise and you could tell there was a slight hint of shame in his eyes. “yeah i new about that.” you added.

you kept going, you had so much pent up frustration with matt that you couldn’t hold in your feelings anymore. “for months i let go of the yelling and the bad moods just for you to turn around and go off with other girls. how is that fair? how did you sit at home for a month and not wonder what your girlfriend was doing? you haven’t heard from me because you wanted space, but i also don’t remember hearing from you either.” you were so upset that you were basically hyperventilating. matt grabbed your hand and used his other to wipe your face. “you have to breath, sweetheart. can you please breath for me?” matt asks. you push him off of you him a frenzy. you ran your hands through your hair giving him a teary laugh. “can i do it for you?” you asked. matt felt that in this moment if looks could kill he’d be dead. “i’m done doing anything for you. if the past month wasn’t any indication, we’re done.” “no y/n you don’t mean that.” he tried walking over to you but you put your hand up signaling for him to stay back. “y/n i am so sorry for everything. please you just have to give me another chance. i promise i can be better.” you chose not to acknowledge him anymore. the back and forth wasn’t going to get you anywhere. you silently walked over to your door and opened it. matt looked at you with a pleeding look before inevitably giving in, leaving your house. you slammed the door behind him falling into it as tears streamed down your face. you’re out.

an: my own feelings have been hurt by this one.

some photos i took from emerson college’s encampment for palestine. most of these were taken only a few hours before the boston PD attacked hundreds of protestors and brutally arrested 108 students, most of whom were poc, jewish, and/or queer.

anyone who spent any amount of time in the encampment will tell you just how much it brought us all together—there was always food, music, arts and crafts, and hundreds of messages of support written in chalk.

after the BPD was done brutalising us for peacefully protesting, they power washed down the walls of the encampment—all of these messages are gone. theyre trying to erase what happened, but they’ll never truly be able to. everyone saw, and everyone will remember.

Israel is the same as Nazis

you’re not sorry - m.s.

part one of avery’s playlist series

summary: could’ve loved you all my life if you hadn’t left me in the cold

warnings: angst, sensitive topics, no happy ending.

{read with caution}

wc: 3k+

Another night.

Another night waiting up for your boyfriend who could never be bothered to let you know when he’d be home; if he’d even be coming home that night.

It was like this for months at this point. Day after day of you waiting up just for him to stumble inside smelling like alcohol and weed, clothes disheveled as he plows through your front door. You didn’t even know what had changed, but it had.

Things were so good, beyond good, to the point where you guys were considering marriage, considering a family. Maybe it was all too much for him, but that wasn’t your burden to bear.

Your perfect, loving boyfriend had turned into someone you barely recognized, having to look so hard to find pieces of the man you fell for in the man you no longer knew.

You were about to give up and head to bed when you heard keys jingling at the front door, the man outside clearly struggling to unlock it. You stayed planted on the couch, waiting for him to finally come crashing in and make up some excuse about what he was doing out so late. You never believed him anymore.

When the door swung open and your boyfriend stumbled through it, his eyes met yours almost instantly, a small, forced smile appearing on his face. “Hey, baby,” he calls out, shutting the door behind him and kicking his shoes off before he made his way towards you, tripping over his own feet once or twice until he sat down next to you.

You let out an aggravated sigh, standing up and walking away from the couch, not wanting to sit next to him and smell the alcohol leeching off of his breath. It was beyond disgusting and if the smell didn’t make you sick, the thought of everything would. The thought of your life crumbling in a matter of months was enough to make you cry so hard you threw up on multiple occasions, the depression caused by this man that swore he loved you being the culprit of so many breakdowns you couldn’t even count anymore.

“You’re drunk, Matt,” you grumble, crossing your arms.

His eyes trail up to you, shaking his head quickly. “I’m not drunk, just tipsy, I swear. I stopped drinking a few hours ago.”

Your heart dropped. A few hours ago?

“And where have you been in those last few hours, hm?” You question, not really knowing if you wanted to know the answer.

Matt groans, throwing his head back on the couch. “Here we fucking go. All you do is nag on me fucking constantly, why do you think I’m gone all the time? I’ll tell you. Because you can’t fucking shut the fuck up and let me live for two minutes. You’re always up my ass asking me what I’m doing or who I’m with.”

Your heart starts to race in your chest, knowing you’re about to get in another fight with the man you used to never argue with. You used to have perfect communication, always able to work through your issues and things that bothered you, but now it was like a flip switched and he wanted to argue about everything, sober or not.

“I never see you anymore, Matt! You’re never home to just spend time with me! All I fucking want is to lay in bed and watch a movie with my boyfriend who cuddles with me and tells me he loves me! You act like I don’t exist and it hurts and I’m trying to stay but sometimes I wonder why I do.” Your voice is shaky as you speak, the adrenaline and emotions quickly getting to you. You never were good at fighting without crying.

“Why?” Matt questions quietly, dropping his gaze to his lap.

You’re confused. “Why what?” You ask him dryly, arms still crossed in an attempt to protect yourself, almost like you were protecting your heart.

He’s quiet for a moment before he speaks. “Why try to stay? If I’m so awful?”

Your breath catches in your throat. Was this it? Was this the fight you’ve been fearing for the last few weeks? Has everything you both have worked towards finally hit a wall?

“Because… because I keep hoping this is just a phase and you’ll snap out of it and love me again,” you choke out, tears filling your eyes. “I don’t understand what I did to make you not love me anymore and every day that I sit here by myself and think about it, I can’t come up with an answer and you won’t tell me. I would do fucking anything for you and you can’t even tell me you love me anymore.”

Matt let out a big sigh, picking at a rip in his jeans absentmindedly. “I do love you, I just… I need some time to myself.”

You scoff, crying now and not trying to stop it. “You don’t think I would’ve given you time? Space? Matt, all you had to say was that you were getting overwhelmed and needed time think about what you wanted, I would’ve understood that. Do you understand the fucking weight behind that? You have a woman who would let you take a step back from a relationship just because she knows how much you value your own space and time and your own autonomy. You will never fucking find a woman that will treat you the way I treat you. You will never find someone who loves you unconditionally through everything, including this. I swear to god, Matt, you better get your act together before you come home to fucking nothing.”

“Maybe that’s what I want!” Matt yells suddenly, getting up from the couch to walk over to you. You weren’t afraid, you knew he’d never hit you, but he’s also never yelled in your face like this either. “Maybe every fucking night I come home hoping you’ve packed up all of your shit and left. Hell, you could pack my shit and I’d be happy, I don’t fucking care, I just want to come home and know that you’ve finally given up on me. Don’t you get it? I’m trying to make it easy for you. I’m trying to be the worst boyfriend I could possibly be and you still won’t leave!”

The moment he’s done speaking you swear you could hear a pin drop. You felt like your world had completely stopped spinning on its axis.

You’re lightheaded as you stare at Matt, tears flowing freely down your face. He really was completely unrecognizable.

“What did I do?” You cried, still wanting nothing more than to feel your boyfriend’s arms wrap around you and tell you everything was going to be okay. But he wouldn’t, and it wasn’t. “Why do you hate me so much?”

Matt listened to your cries with a straight face, barely even seeming like he cared. “I just… don’t want to be with you anymore. Our relationship has run its course.”

You drop your head and let out a broken sob, reaching a hand up to try to wipe away your tears, but it was to no avail, they would just keep coming. “I love you with everything I have, I… I need you, Matt, how could you do this?”

Matt is silent, feeling like he’s already said all he needed to say. If he cared at all, he really didn’t show it.

You pick your head back up and look at Matt, your own eyes red and puffy, when you see it. You think it’s a shadow at first, but the more you stare, the more you realize your eyes aren’t deceiving you. You take a step forward and reach towards Matt, pulling the hood off his head and tugging the collar down, another choked cry falling from your lips.

“Is that a fucking hickey?” You accuse, looking up to meet his eyes. “You’re fucking cheating on me, too?!”

Matt grabs your wrist and pulls it away from him, throwing your arm back towards yourself before pulling his hood back up. “Back the fuck up, dude, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You laugh in his face, shaking your head in disbelief. “You are so fucking pathetic, Matt,” you spit at him. “You are so much of a pussy that you couldn’t even be a man and break up with me, you needed me to do it for you. Do you feel good about yourself? Knowing you cheated on someone who would literally give you the world? God, I can’t believe I almost gave you a fucking kid, you’re a joke of a partner. I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with you for the rest of their life.”

Matt clenches his jaw tightly at your words, hating how you knew exactly how to strike a nerve with him. “You think I feel good about this? I fucking don’t but I didn’t know what else to do, you would’ve never listened if I tried to leave you, you would’ve talked me into staying and I would’ve been miserable for the rest of my life!”

“You are the one that said you wanted a family! The one that said you wanted to marry me and buy our own farm and live in the middle of fucking nowhere! You said all of those things, not me!” You wanted to hit him so bad. To shake him, to kick him, to do anything to make him see how none of this made sense to you. How could he say all of those things and turn on you so quickly?

You two were laid in bed under the blankets, neither of you ready to get out of bed for the day just yet. The sun shone through the blinds, illuminating Matt’s face perfectly, his blue eyes reflecting the light in a way that had you damn near in a trance, unable to pull your own eyes away from him. “I hope our babies have your eyes,” you tell him quietly, both of you laying on your sides to face each other.

He smiled shyly at you, closing his eyes for a moment. “Stop admiring me, it makes me awkward.” He mumbled, making you laugh.

“I’m your girlfriend, I’m supposed to admire you. Plus, it helps that you’re really hot and easy to admire.” You reach up and brush your hands through his hair that definitely needs a trim, pulling it back from his face to get a better view. “I’m serious, though. Your eyes are so pretty compared to mine.”

Matt opens his eyes and shoots you an annoyed look. “Stop it, our kids would be lucky to have any of your features, you’re fucking stunning.”

You giggle and roll over onto your back, staring at the ceiling for a few moments before speaking. “Do you ever think about that? Like what our kids will look like? I think about it all the time. Especially like… a little girl, running around with your bright blue eyes and your big smile. I just know if we had a little girl she’d be so beautiful, Matt.” You turn your head towards your boyfriend to see him already smiling at you.

“I think about it all the time,” he starts, reaching a hand out to rest on your stomach that had been exposed by your shirt riding up, softly trailing his thumb back and forth. “I think about how protective I’d be if we had a daughter, or daughters. I think about how much of an honor it would be to raise a son with you. I think about what would happen if you got pregnant with twins or, god forbid, triplets.” You laugh at this, knowing it would be an absolute shit show. “I think about our kids, sure, but a lot of times I think to myself, ‘wow, if I love her so much now, I can’t imagine how much I’ll love her when she’s the mother of my children.’ That’s what I think.”

Your eyes become glossy and your vision goes slightly blurry as you stare at Matt, seeing the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke to you. “I love you,” you tell him and his face lights up, leaning in to place a small kiss on your lips.

“I love you more.”

“I did,” Matt shrugs his shoulders like it was no big deal. “But feelings change. People change.”

You shake your head angrily, not believing him. “No, not like that. Feelings don’t change like that, Matt. You met somebody else, didn’t you? All this time you’ve been seeing someone else.”

Matt groans, rubbing his eyes harshly. “So what?! It doesn’t matter, we’re over now, right? I’ll sleep on the couch and pack my shit tomorrow, can we just go to bed?”

You sniffle, the truth finally setting in that he’s completely given up and there was no getting him back. The Matt you once loved was gone forever and there was nothing you could do about it.

So you decided to land the final blow and make him realize how stupid he really was.

You grab his right hand with your left, facing it palm up as you reach your free hand into your pocket, grabbing the strip of paper you had kept in there, waiting for the perfect moment to drop this bomb on him. You slap the paper into his open hand before taking a step away, crossing your arms again.

“What is this?” Matt asks, staring down at the photos in front of him, panic setting in his chest. “Babe… babe, what is this?” He looks up at you, eyes wide. You swear you could almost hear his heart pounding.

“It’s an ultrasound, jackass.” You snap at him, completely over his shit.

Matt’s mouth opens, then closes, then opens again, eyes snapping between you and the photos. “You’re… pregnant?” He chokes out. Despite all the alcohol he’s consumed tonight, he feels the most sober he has in weeks, the reality of the situation crashing into him like a truck.

You laugh at his reaction, hating how he suddenly cared about you again. “Was,” you tell him bluntly, shrugging your shoulders like nothing you said mattered. “Turns out never getting any sleep and stressing out over your loser, lowlife boyfriend isn’t good for a baby.”

Matt lets out a huff of air like his lungs had collapsed in on him, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole. “You… you were pregnant, and now you’re not?” He asks quietly, his own voice now shaking.

“Yes, Matthew, I was and now I’m not. That’s how that fucking works.” You walk over and snatch the pictures from him, ignoring his pleas of denial. “While you were out doing whatever the fuck or whoever the fuck you wanted, I was here throwing up every day by my fucking self, barely even able to eat oatmeal without getting sick. I was here reading up on how to get through pregnancy or how to be a good mother. I was here shopping for fucking baby clothes and decorations. And I was the one here miscarrying in our bed, by myself!” You have no idea when you started crying again, but you were, and there was no stopping it this time. “I was the one going to doctors appointments and listening to our baby’s teeny tiny heart beating. I was here looking at pictures of her tiny feet and tiny toes, wondering if she’d look like you or like me. I was here picking up the pieces when I found out her teeny tiny heart had stopped.”

Matt’s eyes had filled with tears now, too, his bright blue eyes only made brighter by the reflection of the lamp lit in the corner of the room. “Her?” He croaked, voice failing him. “It was a girl?”

You let out a sob, nodding your head weakly. “I found out the day I found out she was gone,” you cry, voice entering a higher pitch from your throat tightening. “I wanted her so bad, Matt, and I was just waiting for you to come around so I could tell you, and… you just never did and now we’re over. I went from a girl who wanted nothing more than a family with the man she loves to being a girl who’s oddly grateful she lost a baby so she doesn’t have to deal with looking at her daughter that reminds her of the man that broke her heart.”

Matt reaches up to wipe the tears from his cheeks, releasing a shaky breath out. “I’m sorry,” he whimpers, looking you dead in the eyes. “I’m sorry, if I had known-.”

“If you had known then what? You wouldn’t have treated me like shit? You wouldn’t have cheated? That should’ve been the bare fucking minimum, Matt, and now you’ve let down who was supposed to be the two most important girls in your life.” You point your finger at him as you speak, wanting to drive your point home and let him know how badly he had fucked up. “I would’ve done fucking anything for you, including growing your baby, and you threw that away, not me.”

“I was just scared, it was all happening so fast!” Matt wails, reaching out for you. “I got overwhelmed with the thought of settling down and I freaked out, I’m sorry.”

You push his hands away, ignoring his pleas. “You said it yourself, Matt. It’s over. Besides, I can’t bring her back. I’m always going to look at you and remember how you treated me when I had your baby inside me, and how you treated me when I dealt with the loss of our baby.”

Matt sobbed, placing his head in his hands as his shoulder shook. “I didn’t know!”

“You shouldn’t have to know!” You cried, hands flailing in front of you as you spoke, or more yelled. “You shouldn’t have to know I’m pregnant just to treat me like your fucking girlfriend! I would’ve done anything for you, including give up my body for nine months to give you a family, and you couldn’t even be loyal, and you have to live with that for the rest of your fucking life.”

Matt sunk to his knees in front of you, head resting on your stomach as he wraps his arms around your hips. You just stare down at him, your tears dripping into his hair. “I’m so sorry, please let me fix this,” he sobs into your sweater, hands gripping the back of it. “I fucked up so bad, I see that now.”

The sight of him made you want to crumble. You wanted to give in, to comfort him, to forget these last few months and go back to being the perfect happy couple you used to be. You didn’t know how you were supposed to live without him after all this time.

But you deserved better.

“Get up,” you tell him quietly and he turns his head up to look at you, cheeks soaked with his own tears. You reach down and cup his cheek, thumb swiping under his eyes to wipe new tears that fell. “Get up, Matt.”

He sniffles and obliges, standing in front of you once again, closer this time.

“You’re not sorry you hurt me,” you start, voice surprisingly calm. “You’re just sorry it backfired so badly.”

Matt grabs your hand that still rested on his face, holding it close and leaning into it. “Please,” he says, voice raspy. “Can we spend one more night together?”

You break eye contact to drop your eyes to the floor, shoulders shaking with the sob that ripped through your body.

“Yes,” you croak out, immediately melting into the arms that wrapped themselves around you like you’d disappear if he let go, your face tucking into his neck that smelled like cheap, floral perfume, the scent feeling like a dagger to your heart.

You ignored it, though. Anything for one more night with the love of your life.

-

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Just a reminder of how shitty these ppl r !! If u won’t support Palestine bc of, idk, the fact that it’s basic human fucking decency to do so and because you want innocent civilians dead, then maybe your rotted brain might process that Israel and the American government funding this genocide affects YOU too 🫵🏻🥰

yea idgaf about barbie not getting an oscar nomination or whatever when women in palestine are dying in childbirth, forced into unmedicated and not medically safe labor bc what choice do they have rn, contracting infections because they don't have sanitary products for periods, having to use tent scraps as menstrual products, using medications to delay periods, ect. like its a movie and those are real people who would vastly benefit from some real actionable feminism like supporting bisan in her call for a strike, continuing to boycott, and continuing to support palestinians overall