The Flashbacks...

That's what you're going to talk about on your first date?! What do the second date conversation topics look like?!?! That you killed Joey, Jimmy, and Oli? That, while drinking with an evil Sausage, you released a demon that killed your headmaster?!?!

Ever think about the fact that when we last saw the two, Katherine had no idea on how Shelby was actually cure of the skulk. She didn’t know everything with the witch academy, the voices screaming in Shelby’s head, the spirits in the fog. She didn’t know that Shelby died.

Very, very traumatized, ever heard of "Danganronpa: Kirigiri" ?

I'd like to purchase some therapy for her.

Fun fact: When she was younger, she had two braids, one on each side.

she was so real for that tiny ass braid

😊

Making Empires Cast into DND5e Characters

Great Witch Shelby of the Evermore

At Level Three

Race: Human

Language: Gnomish (for nostalgia)

Class: School of Transmutation

Skills: Investigation, Medicine

Background: Guild Artisan

Language: Sylvan

I figured the witches were more of a guild and it fits more with her character instead of something like sage

Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Who should I do next?

Want more? Click the empires as dnd classes tag!

Date of reblog: October 8, 2023

warnings for: death, spoilers for series

hello, and welcome to another Mad Rambles.

today's topic: Escape the Night

EtN makes me mad sometimes. Not because it's about murder or my favorite characters die or something. It's because the characters are all content to be led like lambs to slaughter.

like, don't give me terrified lambs who can't handle themselves under pressure. I know these are YouTubers, they aren't trained fighters or aggressive people, but some of them have to have the fight response. don't give me rabbits who run from wolves, give me the wolves!

give me MatPat, utterly pissed that Joey was willing to trade nine peoples' lives for his own one life. give me Matt Haag, who fought with everyone until he gave up. give me Colleen, who blamed Joey for everything until her untimely death by force. give me Liza and Tyler, trying so hard to win for the both of them until they where cheated out of their victory. give me Brettman, who took no one's shit and celebrated his own victories. give me DeStorm, making no apologies for the way he chose to win.

I don't want little lambs content to die, I want fighters clawing their way to victory. if I'm to be hunted like an animal, I don't think I'd allow myself to be pulled down. you're playing with a new set of rules, ones that change with each challenge, should your key focus not be bickering and fighting, but survival?

give me people who survived and tore up their invitations. give me people who are furious with the person who invited them. give me people willing to do what it takes to win and survive. give me people who are the wolves, who'd just as soon turn the killers' weapons on them.

give me the Survivors being horrified and furious at Joey for the things they'd seen and been invited into.

just give me this...

thank you.

A thousand words I could've said, and yet I still chose the ones that hurt you

Yes.

I don't see enough posts on how nature wives must be viewed in-universe between the empires and the witches. Like, it's one thing to hear that your classmate Shelby the slacker who sleeps through class and switched dimensions on accident is dating someone. BUT THEN THAT SOMEONE TURNS OUT TO BE MOTHER-FUCKING ROYALTY?? At first people think "No, it's not possible, Shelby's just calling her a queen and people took it out of context". But then Shelby starts living up that Trophy Wife Lifestyle™ and all of a sudden her normally torn-up uniform is pristine and it's made of super soft and expensive materials. Her potion stand looks brand-new and so do all of her mixing and grinding tools. And now she's wearing new jewelry that the elemental witches swear is real, which makes no sense because it's made of diamonds and netherite. There are bets being placed and arguments of whether or not the rumors are true. the leading theory is she's dating a noble, not royalty but still filthy rich. Even teachers are curious and heated debates go long into the night. And then graduation comes up and everyone gets really quiet because holy fuck all 11 rulers have shown up. And when asked they simply say "well we aren't missing Shelby's graduation, she is our favorite witch after all" and the whole school blows up, because now it's not a question of IF she's dating a ruler but WHICH ruler. And it gets answered really quickly because after the ceremony Queen Katherine of Glimmer Grove proposes to Shelby. And Headmaster Nowls rolls in his grave. BUT IN THE EMPIRES? Glimmer Grove citizen: Did you hear Queen Katherine is marrying The Great Witch Shelby? Chromia: citizen: Oh yeah they're such a cute couple i hear all the empires are getting invited! Sanctuary Citizen: I heard that the theme is nature!

aaahhhhhhhhhh shubble is fully corrupted now! can’t wait to see how this affects her interactions with the other emperors

love that she’s fully committing to the villain arc :)

THANK YOU for everything empiressmp!!!

this was supposed to be finished for the 2nd empires anniversary but here we are, half a year later lol

here's some close ups :) just so tumblr doesn't completely destroy the quality

Incorrect Witchcraft SMP Quotes

Prismarina: Hey, you want a tarot reading? Joey: Those are Pokemon cards. Prismarina: You got a magikarp. Joey: … Prismarina: It means 'fuck you'.

Eloise: pulls back the curtain while Lauren is showering Eloise: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’ Lauren: Thanks fam! Scott: Oh no. Eloise: cries I love you too. Shelby: Sounds fake, but okay. Tiff: A flustered mess Prismarina: Can I get a refund?

Lauren: Heyyy Tiff, how’s your… drink?? Tiff: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee. Lauren: You sure?? Looks to coffee maker Tiff: Looks to coffee maker Cement sitting beside the coffee maker Tiff:…I’m on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

Eloise: How does that even work? Joey, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Eloise: Your face doesnt make sense.

Prismarina: When I first met you, I did not like you. Joey: I'm aware of that. Prismarina: But then you and I had some time together. Joey: Uh-huh? Prismarina: It did not get better.

Prismarina: Shelby, why is Tiff intruding on our cuddle time? Tiff: Shelby, why is Prismarina intruding on our cuddle time? Shelby, in distress: Please… I have two hands…

Lauren: They made Shelby cry! Cleo: Shelby always cries! Shelby: That's not true! cries

Shelby: You have to apologize to Prismarina! Joey: Fine! Joey: Unfuck you, or whatever!

Prismarina is casually searching around the room Scott: Hey Prismarina, what’re you looking for? Prismarina: My will to live. Shelby walks into the room Prismarina: Oh, there it is.

Scott: out cold on the ground Cleo: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?! Prismarina, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! dumps all of the water on Scott’s face

Scott: I'm not creepy. Scott: I'm petty. Scott: There's a difference, ya' know.

Joey: Question, how difficult would it be to bowl in a bee suit? Tiff: Not that hard, I don't think, as long as you can move. Eloise: I'd assume as hard as it is to bowl in a maid outfit. Eloise: Wouldn't be any harder, but you'd get some WEIRD looks. Cleo: Are. Are you speaking from experience. Eloise: No! Eloise: Eloise: ….Maybe.

Cleo, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

Cleo: So… what would you do if you were in bed with me? Lauren: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Cleo: Yes. Lauren: I'd sleep.

Lauren: Prismarina, don’t go picking a fight with Scott. Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you. Prismarina: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

Prismarina: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee. Cleo: If I was married to you I’d drink it.

Cleo: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. Joey: Aw… that's not true. Joey: It'd be exactly the same. Joey: You're not important.

Cleo: Seriously, Lauren, how many people would you have killed if we’d asked you to? Lauren: That’s not important Cleo: I DISAGREE.

Cleo: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact. Prismarina: …All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Shelby: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Prismarina: This knife is actually a magic wand. Tiff: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. Scott: cocks gun Magic missile. Lauren: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

The Squad when asked about their earlier confession of love Lauren: Yeah, you're lucky. I like you. Tiff: I'd understand if you didn't feel the same way… Eloise: has a panic attack What confession? Prismarina: winks I know, babe. You like me too. Cleo: So what? Are you going to date me or not? Joey: It was a dare.

Cleo: Hey, what are you reading? Eloise: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. Cleo: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Prismarina: So it’s just a Notebook? Eloise: It’s just a Notebook.

Scott: What’s up? I’m back. Tiff: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Scott: Death is a social construct.

Prismarina: We have a problem. Scott: Let me guess, you caused it? Cleo: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet. Tiff: And it's another Tuesday, your point? Joey: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up. Lauren: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.