So I Have This Headcanon.

Sometimes when I had a student intern, I’d bring them to court and let them sit at the counsel table with me to help me run exhibits/give me documents and such. I would often lean over and ask things like, “so, what question would you ask next?” or “is that question objectionable?” as a learning exercise.

But I’m glad I never had a private client, because looking at it from the outside, it 100 percent would have looked like I was pulling a Phoenix Wright.

And

I just want a daddy, stop kink shaming me, otome :(

Me: I don’t have a type. What even is a type?

Otome games: I present to you, your type

Me: I- my taste is expensive 🤭

I cannot have children because I envisage the following conversation between myself and their teacher:

Teacher: Little Zeke called Little Polly a “goatfucking twatface” today, do you know where they learned that?

Me: Well, was the bitch playing like a goatfucking twatface? I don’t know what your fucking problem is.

if my son is stealing pies off windowsills its because i taught him to do that bitch 

I feel this about the set MC appearance (and one reason I like Obey Me! is that they don’t do that). I got a boy cut and no curves and I dress like Saul Goodman on drugs and I want my androgynous representation GOD DAMN IT.

But also I’m trying to learn Chinese so props to AL for helping inspire me to study.

reasons why afterl!fe is better then Obey Me

pros & cons

obey me ;

pros ;

• nice and well developed (some) characters

• good plot

• devil points are easy to get (daily missions, events, etc)

• fair prices (devil points, vip, etc)

• gender neutral, no set gender for the player

• has no appearance for the mc, so you can put whoever in it

cons ;

• nightmare events. the rates are unfair, and only depends on luck (i have shit luck)

• favoritism. they play favorites with the characters AND players.

• new lessons. they’re great, but the amount of strength is ridiculous. its becoming to where you HAVE to spend money to play.

• events. theyre great, cards are amazing, but the prizes and amount of event points you need is becoming bullshit. 93k points? 127 points per battle, 3 plays a battle. its becoming insane.

• ap. the ap doesnt need to take 5 mins to get just 1. its insane as well. takes like, 8 fucking hours to get full stock.

After L!fe

pros ;

• in different languages (chinese, english, japanese, korean, thai(?)) for players around the world (mainly in asia & countries with english as a main language) can play

• dont play favorites. they’re equal with characters AND players. (for download milestones, you get 10 premium tickets but have to log in at a certain UTC time.) the characters are getting their own SSR cards (i think they already have a separate SSR card per character, the rest are events).

• events. they’re easy to play through. very nice plotline, + its very long. the prizes in the events are fair.

• ap (sp in this case) is easy to get. it takes 1 min to get 1, which goes by very fast.

• the characters. theyre well thought out and have different and unique personalities. they have backstories that make them them, and are different for each character.

• there is no set dating option, just the characters & you (the manager). you can choose which character you want to favorite, but wont get really intimate options with them.

• prizes (or gifts for the characters) are easy to get throughout the levels. the levels are fair as well.

• plot is well thought out.

• side characters (nyang leader, sei housemaster (let me have sei >:() as well as the characters/animal hybrid things from the levels get introduced to the plot.

cons ;

• money prices. love the game, characters, and stuff. but the money prices, $5+ for one pull, yeah kiss my ass. 👺

• ep. why does it need to take 30 mins to get 1 refill. maybe lower it or something, to maybe 15 mins instead of 30?

• the amount of storage it takes up. stop making me fill my storage up with only after l!fe i have photos 😭 and other shit

• set appearance and gender. ok, i dont mind the gender but the appearance, it needs to stop i swear. im done with the mc having brown hair and no other hair color. its annoying. maybe i want the mc to be someone who got shit on by a goblin >:( and the gender, yeah it’ll be a bit upsetting for those who are non-binary and male.

thats about it. thanks for listening/reading <3

I actually like these! You could add brush strokes/texture or something like that and it would be an Impressionist Obey Me!

Today I hope to give you nightmares so may I present... my art without lineart 😌

I’ve been a prosecutor for as long as I’ve been an attorney. Nowadays, I prosecute child sexual exploitation, and I don’t feel bad at all for the motherfuckers I bury under the jail. 

But are cops bastards? Yes. I can tell you fucking stories of the times I got into screaming, cursing matches with police that I thought were doing a bad job and they didn’t like that I wouldn’t back them up. I can tell you that when I first started in a rural Southern county, the Sheriff told me, “well, I figured they’d hire a n------ or a woman”. I can tell you about my colleague, a Black woman who was a prosecutor, who got pulled over on her way to work multiple times because she was being profiled by the cops she saw in court every day.

Is the criminal justice system broken as fuck? Yes. I hated sending people to prison for drug crimes especially, because hell, if I got caught doing drugs in college, maybe I’d be in the same place. It fucks with you. That’s why I went to the sex offense work, it’s gross and awful and psychologically taxing, but I don’t have to wonder whether I’m prosecuting a victimless crime. I can feel like I’m protecting people instead of persecuting them. And my defendants are mostly white dudes, so my white privilege is a little bit lessened there.

Am I a bastard? Yes but I am a recreational bastard and I would like to be recognized for the hard work I’ve put in to be a bastard in my private life, thank you.

some people need to realize that acab means all cops and  not american cops 

Also MFW I send a brief to my supervisor and get back an all-caps email saying “I TOLD YOU TO STOP PUTTING COMMAS OUTSIDE THE QUOTATION MARKS DON’T DO THAT AGAIN”

Me, seeing fucking spelling errors in my shit that has already been reblogged:

🤣 Honestly. Its always basic shit to. I type too fast.

Your son looks like a nice kid.

Think my kid bit him though. Sorry bout that.

Have you seen my son? Now you have.

You can pry my Picrew out of my cold dead hands.

Cold.

Dead.

Hands.

(Picrew me has had enough of your bullshit)

i know people are calling picrews cringe and all but i can not hate the simple joy of making and dressing up a little cartoon person and then looking at it and going “it’s me! :D”

Hello fellow linguist! What do you think Demonic would look/sound like? I imagine it’s some kind of Greek/Latin/Aramaic bastard child. Maybe it’s the language of the Voynich Manuscript?

Let’s. Make. This. Happen.

My biggest issue with Obey Me is that there is supposedly a full alphabet for the Devildom (and quite possibly a language by extension) and it is mentioned like. Once.

I would absolutely love to see exchanges like:

Mammon: Hey, MC, can you pass me that?

MC: Pass what?

Mammon: You know the... the dry sauce!

MC: ???

Mammon: UGH stupid human language. The [D̴̞͂ȩ̶̐m̵̰̝̼̾ơ̶̢̰̜̿̇̓n̴̪͂͌͒i̸̥̰͇̹͑̏c̸̲͚̉͋ ̵̹̈́ś̵͙͚͓͗̃̍c̴̼̊̇͐̕r̴̺̳̆͠e̶̺̬̜̪̎e̵͇̱͕͛̓͘č̶͈h̶̬̬͐͑̔i̷͇̒̃̕n̷̯̄g̷̻̍̄́́]

MC:

Asmo: Oh, he means the salt

Mammon: YES, THANK YOU