August-and-sage - Books And Never Sent Messages

REBLOG IF ITS OKAY TO TALK TO YOU.

Please.

Sat, Feb 20, 2021 - Sun, Feb 21, 2021 (Hah. I wrote this at 11 PM and finished at 12 AM.)

Have you ever envied people because they have group of friends? Their bond: the meet ups, group dates, group pictures, tagging on social medias because they somehow reminded them of this thing, and the way they talk to each other—yes, the comfortability.

Because I have. And I dislike it. I dislike feeling this way. It reminds me of how much of a loner I am—which shouldn't seem negative but it feels like it.

I don't have friends, and I say it's my fault. I am so asocial. Searching up my name results to the synonyms cold, dismissive, bitch-faced, nerd. Or may be, looking it up results to nothing at all because I am just no one. I am a nobody.

I want to have friends. But thinking about it now, it's impossible.

The kinds of friends I want? The extroverted ones. And extroverts seem to not like introverts. According to them, us, introverts are plain, boring, awkward, stoic. We are not fun to be with.

That's why it's really impossible to have what I want.

Imagine having a group photo where everyone else is posing so carefree, so chaotic and... there's me, standing straight, posing a peace sign, with an of course, awkward smile. Really not nice, right?

So what I'm saying is... I don't know. Really. Just why can't I have friends like that? Why can't I experience those things?

Maybe, my friends are really just books. Only that, I can't converse to them verbally. I can't share foods with them. Laugh together—because it would be so weird if books really laugh with me.

Hmm-mm. Friends.

...

...

Didn't I just wish earlier to be away with people?

Shit.

Is there anyway to not cry when angry?

21.01.24 || New year, same old me with the pics from my study abroad two years ago. Where does the time go?

Term started late this year due to covid, but classes finally started last week. I’m taking three language courses and am in absolute heaven right now. I feel like I finally have the time to focus on the smallest details of Greek and Latin and can nerd out over grammar constructions with my professors. Maybe teaching a language is my true calling, since I’m at my happiest in a language class.

Also lerne ich Deutsch und lese Der Kleine Prinz. Wo sind die Deutschsprache studyblrs?

“Do not allow sadness to be your default emotion.”

- Words to remind myself | 180527

!! Personal Post !!

Sometimes, mahihiling mo na lang talaga for a specific person to die. 'Yong pagka-annoying nila, sagat hanggang buto. Kahit anong patawad mo, wala pa rin talaga. Paulit-ulit na lang. Kung hindi man 'yong tao na 'yon ang mamatay, kahit sarili mo na lang para naman maghiwalay na ang landas niyo.

Untitled.

i made a comic in google slides for some ungodly reason

okay but real talk

someone: *is nice and a decent human being*

“mbti experts”: AH, YES, THEY’RE A FEELER!

someone: *doesn’t like parties*

“mbti experts”: INTROVERT ALERT! HYPER-INTROVERSION RIGHT HERE!

someone: *in high spirits and enthusiastic today*

“mbti experts”: OOH OOH ENFP WITHOUT A DOUBT!

someone: *likes art*

“mbti experts”: WELL THEN THEY CAN’T BE A SENSOR!!!

someone: *meets a deadline*

“mbti experts”: SO ORGANIZED, A JUDGING TYPE FOR SURE!

someone: *likes Star Trek*

“mbti experts”: OMG A REAL LIFE INTP!!!!!!!!

someone: *cares for someone exactly once*

“mbti experts”: DEFINITELY DOM EXTROVERTED FEELING! FE VIBES!!!!

someone: *does well in school*

“mbti experts”: A THINKER! YES!  T H I N K E R ! TRUE INTELLECTUAL!!1!!!1

someone: *cries once*

“mbti experts”: THEY’VE GOTTA BE INFP! AWW SWEETIE COME HERE

someone: *is bossy*

“mbti experts”: OH YES AN EXTJ NO OTHER EXPLANATION FOR THIS

someone: *remembers something*

“mbti experts”: I N T R O V E R T E D  S E N S I N G

someone: *flirts with someone*

“mbti experts”: AHHHH ESTP, OF COURSE!!!!!!

someone: *respects authority once*

“mbti experts”: MMMMMMMM GONNA SAY ISXJ YEEEEEP

someone: *meditates*

“mbti experts”: WHY YES, SE-DOM IN THEIR NATURAL HABITAT

someone: *likes plans*

“mbti experts”: INTROVERTED INTUITION! AHA! AHAAAAA! 

someone: *is stressed for like 30 seconds*

“mbti experts”: YOU’RE IN THE GRIP. OF COURSE. LET ME SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS BC YOU ARE DEFINITELY IN A COGNITIVE LOOP.

someone: “oh yeah, you know mbti? i took a cognitive function test. i didn’t know how accurate it was from its explanations, but i’ve done some more research and done some self-analysis, i think it fits pretty well. it gave me intj–”

“mbti experts”: UH NO YOU LITERALLY CAN’T BE INTJ??? WHO TOLD YOU THAT??? WELL THEY’RE WRONG SORRY. YOU MUST HAVE BEEN MISTYPED, LIKE THAT’S SOOOOO INACCURATE!!!! UGH I MEAN LOOK AT YOU? YOU’RE A NICE PERSON, INTJS AREN’T NICE WYM. AND YOU’RE LIKE SUPER LOW-KEY COME ON YOU’RE 23 INTJS HAVE ALREADY TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BY AGE 20 WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING????? I’M AN EXPERT ON THIS TOPIC, SUZIE. AN EXPERT. I KNOW MY STUFF. YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE COMPUTERS OR ANYTHING SCIENCE-Y SO YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT AN EXTROVERTED THINKER. ALSO YOU CRIED LAST WEEK WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE NOT INTJ!!!!! I KNOW YOU!!!!!!!!! AND DON’T PRETEND YOU’RE AN INTROVERT I SAW YOU TALK TO LIKE FIVE PEOPLE TODAY?!??!?!?!?  UGH I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS I THOUGHT BETTER OF YOU SUZIE. LET ME TEACH YOU ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY OKAY?????

I miss being on the road.

I miss waking up in an unfamiliar place. I miss seeing a place for the first time. I miss the motion, the laughs, uncommon frustration, the eyes scanning the sky, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.

I miss the sight from the moving bus window and realize how similar and different life can be base on where we come from. That these places are home to people who live here their whole life, who spend their childhoods chasing every street and corner, and we are just passer by.

Some people travel to escape, and some people travel to be home. And maybe I’m stuck in between. Stuck on the road, where most of life can be found.

Maybe my home is the open sky. It’s the taste of salt water in the air, the silence of the trees, and the road in front of us waiting for new beginnings.