You’ll Think You Found Someone Great Because He Texts You That He Misses You When He’s Alone In Bed

What really gets me is when you're reading a book and the chapter labels have, like, vines or floral details around them or something. it makes me so soft - just- the fact that someone was like 'ooh we can add beauty here, we totally should' and they did it

“You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.” - Charles Buxton

do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you’re dying

#like when they pass a mirror and make a face and mess with their hair a little #or when you hear someone singing in their car with the windows rolled up as they drive past you #i don’t know how to express this i just. people are people and it makes me so sad and filled up sometimes

彳亍 (to walk slowly) ⛩

I have about 40 books. Most are unread and/or untouched because I've read them as ebook already so I don't know if I should read them again. I only purchased them because I like the feeling of finally having them physically. I say the pandemic has greatly impacted my book buying act since I don't get to go to the bookstore always. Talking about ebooks, I have tons.

Book Discussion

I’m curious, how many books people own that they have not read. most of booklr seems to have a large number from what they’ve said, but my collection seems much smaller (not counting e books, I have around 25).

totally not meant to be judgy, I’m just very curious about how many other people have.

all i want is to have one of those ghibli moments where the protag is just lying in a breezy field with wildflowers and big puffy clouds overhead. that’s the goal here.

“I’m waiting for you to leave my head. I’m waiting for you to say that we finally reach the end. But the truth is, we never really moved. We only stop moving. I never had the closure I needed, even though I was the one who pulled myself away from your grasp. You still sip into the cracks of my thoughts, dancing your way into my daydream. You are the best memory I’m trying to live without, but I can’t see the worth of risking another shot.”

AA | 180606

I told Papa yesterday that I want to take BS Forensic Science in college and I asked him if he's fine with it. He don't seem to understand what I'm saying at first. I thought, he's only acting that he can't properly hear what I'm saying because he doesn't want that course for me. Then when he finally clearly heard it, he said, "It's up to you. You're the one who's going to study." And AAAAAH! Every fiber in body danced happily!

BAGSIKDIWA,

Why are you all ignoring my messages? I felt very much out of place. You kept on talking and talking and didn't even bother to entertain what I said. I'm hurt.

Sat, Feb 20, 2021 - Sun, Feb 21, 2021 (Hah. I wrote this at 11 PM and finished at 12 AM.)

Have you ever envied people because they have group of friends? Their bond: the meet ups, group dates, group pictures, tagging on social medias because they somehow reminded them of this thing, and the way they talk to each other—yes, the comfortability.

Because I have. And I dislike it. I dislike feeling this way. It reminds me of how much of a loner I am—which shouldn't seem negative but it feels like it.

I don't have friends, and I say it's my fault. I am so asocial. Searching up my name results to the synonyms cold, dismissive, bitch-faced, nerd. Or may be, looking it up results to nothing at all because I am just no one. I am a nobody.

I want to have friends. But thinking about it now, it's impossible.

The kinds of friends I want? The extroverted ones. And extroverts seem to not like introverts. According to them, us, introverts are plain, boring, awkward, stoic. We are not fun to be with.

That's why it's really impossible to have what I want.

Imagine having a group photo where everyone else is posing so carefree, so chaotic and... there's me, standing straight, posing a peace sign, with an of course, awkward smile. Really not nice, right?

So what I'm saying is... I don't know. Really. Just why can't I have friends like that? Why can't I experience those things?

Maybe, my friends are really just books. Only that, I can't converse to them verbally. I can't share foods with them. Laugh together—because it would be so weird if books really laugh with me.

Hmm-mm. Friends.

...

...

Didn't I just wish earlier to be away with people?

Shit.