I Got Bored And Decided To Make Titan Luz A Slightly Different Look, Base On Luz's Casual Outfit From

What are your three genders? Are they fluid/flux/fluix in anyway or are you always all of them at once?

Hello! Thank you for asking, I identify as male, female, and nonbinary. I use they/them pronouns and I am all of them at once. I don't flux between the genders.

This post is gonna get serious. I wanna talk about Tony's death in the MCU and how I was affect by it and my past.

Trigger warning: I'm gonna be talking about PTSD, death, depression, and overall a lot of heavy stuff. If this stuff bothers you, you should skip this post. I have plenty other posts that are more for humor or fanfiction.

Tony's death.

This rocked me to my core. I cried when he spoke his last words and how he ended his arc the way he did. I cried cause the character who brought me into the MCU had left it after all this time. I had cried for the character who had become so important to me, only to cry all over again when Steve decided to leave too. Both goodbyes that were from important parts of my Marvel experience were gone like that.

It was a perfect, tragic, ending for both characters. The pain and loss, to the end of their arcs showing how much they changed.

The thing is though, seeing Tony's death, and Steve's choice to leave, had me mentally and emotionally shut down the first time I watched those scenes. I had been lost unconsciously to the past, back to the moment that still haunts me today.

I have PTSD. And my trauma came from my grandfather passing away when I was four. It was traumatic, loud, messy, and lots of crying from my mother. The only person I had to call 'dad' was simply gone in mere seconds.

He past away in my mother's arms, and from the way my mom can remember he was also coughing blood. His lung cancer finally caught up to him.

When children are exposed to stimulation it is already so much for them, every experience being many things: an inconvenience being the end of the world, a new little fact being a huge joy, every experience is learning how the world is. But in terms of trauma? It's greater damage to the mind as a kid compared to an adult.

I had watched my grandfather pass away, got stuck in the loud chaos, and had been unable to process what just happened. I only knew that he wasn't coming back, and that answer only left me empty.

After this moment things changed a lot for me. It was made worst when my mother had to hospitalized for three days sometime after this event. This was another thing that had sent me into a deep form of hurt. I cried hard at my mother's disappearance. I thought I was being abandoned, left alone in a world I still can't understand today.

I had lost a parental figure in my life, thought I was being abandoned sometime later, and was unable to process anything. I only knew the facts, I couldn't do anything beyond that. Any emotions I should have been feeling wasn't there. I didn't feel anything. It was like I didn't know how anymore, I only could feel apathetic. Like I was shunning away the moment.

It was the start of my mental decline.

Tony became an important character for me as he was the hero who felt real, one I could find myself in the same sort of spot with regarding pain.

Every time I see a character I've grown so attached to die, I remember the first time it ever happened. Then I dissociate to cope with the trauma, emotions disappearing into numbness, and I can't watch anymore.

The pain of watching real tragic deaths or of fiction that I've come so attached to, it sends me into a twisted mess. It also happens with goodbyes. Seeing someone or something for the last time, never seeing them again, also sends me back. The feelings of loss and abandonment causing me to push things or people away.

When Tony died on screen I had been left numb, I had left the theater wanting nothing more than to curled up in a ball on my bed and sleep. Forgetting about the moment I watched him die.

I wouldn't get to fully process my trauma till this year. I wouldn't get to the moment of processing till now.

Tony's death, Steve leaving, and the pain left behind was too much for me to handle. Now though I can say that it was tragic but also a beautiful end to their respective arcs. I can't watch certain parts of the movies again for reasons, but I'm able to watch the movies again as I'm now moving forward. I can watch knowing that this time I can finally watch the series and accept each goodbye that happens. I can allow myself to process the emotions I feel freely, letting them come and simply be.

I write this post as a form of my own little therapy. A way of sharing my story to those who might need it and those who need to hear this:

You are not alone in your grief. You are not alone in your pain. Pain comes to everyone and it varies on the person how they respond to that pain. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, these are common disabilities that are found in a large percentage of people. I used to think nobody would understand, but overtime I realized that pain is universal.

When I began to heal I learned that it's okay to be vulnerable, to be weak. To allow yourself the chance to express the emotions held inside out. Feeling those emotions freely is what helped me move forward, but it may be different for you.

What Marvel has helped me to do is learn that it's okay to be human. We are a mess, but we learn together how to be better. Not everyone is nice, not everyone is mean. We are simply people. As we heal from trauma we see those around us differently, unable to go back to the mindset in the past. We can also see those who have similar mindsets to are own.

In conclusion: Tony's death hurt me and pushed hard at an old scar. The pain came and I allowed it to be. I learned to move forward, and learned from Marvel that all you can do is move forward. Tony's death had left the universe safe, Steve leaves behind a legacy and passed down his shield to Falcon. And I learn to come to terms of what happened years ago now.

I wanted to share this in hopes of those who need it see it. And I hope maybe that you, the person reading, have taken something from this post. A person who understands or possibly a new perspective on something.

I hope that you remember that you deserve to be loved, that you are not alone in pain or grief, and that you are amazing.

Am I valid if I’m tri but prefer to be predominantly veiwed as fem?

Hell yes! You are always going to be valid, you know why? Because it is your choice on how you express your gorgeous self! If the identity you find yourself to be, so long as it makes you feel more authentically yourself, you'll always be valid!

Just remember that identity is fluid, you just need to find who you are by what feels right. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Do a dab ヽ(･ω･ゞ)

*Do a dab right back*

:D

Marvel Prompts (Brothers addition)

Thor: *Minding his business*

Loki: *Smacks Thor*

Thor: ...

Thor: You want comfort don't you, you just don't know how to ask?

Loki: ...maybe.

Thor: *hugs Loki*

Loki: *happy noises*

*Five minutes later...*

Thor: *Sighing* Loki... Please stop hissing at the others. They aren't gonna take me from you.

Loki: *Annoyed* My brother >:c

Thor: *Smiling* I know Loki, I know.

This is just perfection, nothing else to say

How about Bodyguard AU and Mutual Pining with Ironhawk? :)

“I don’t need a bodyguard,” Tony says for the millionth time.

“Yes you fuckin’ do,” Clint says, also for the millionth time. He crosses his arms and glares at Tony. “People want to kill you, and Pepper needs that not to happen. I happen to agree with her.”

“Well, then I need a different bodyguard!” Tony says, pouting. “Why can’t I have Happy back?”

“You asked for a new bodyguard when Happy tackled you and broke your old couch,” Clint says. Hearing that Tony wants a new bodyguard hurts a little, if he’s honest. He thought they were getting along pretty well. Maybe Tony realized that Clint has a massive, could-be-seen-from-space crush on him?

“I liked that couch,” Tony says, pouting harder. “Do I have my new one yet?”

“It arrived yesterday,” Clint says patiently, well used to how Tony seemingly switches tracks out of nowhere. “You said it was squishy enough and that you liked it.”

Tony shrugs. “Sure. I trust you. But I still want a new bodyguard.”

“Could you at least tell me why?” Clint asks. “If there’s somethin’ I’ve done, Tones, just tell me.”

Tony shakes his head, his lips a thin line on his face. “It’s just…” He trails off, then waves a hand at Clint. “All of you. Your whole cornfed, aw shucks, good guy thing.”

“You don’t like that I’m a good guy?” Clint asks. “I don’t understand.”

Tony sighs. “It’s unethical to want to fuck your bodyguard. It’s even worse when you want to keep him around afterwards for snuggles.”

Clint blinks. “I quit,” he says suddenly. “I quit so hard.”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to blink. “You… what?”

“I have a crush on you that could be seen from space,” Clint says. “If it’s unethical to want to fuck your bodyguard, then it’s definitely unethical to want to fuck your boss.”

A slow smile spreads across Tony’s face as he wraps a hand in Clint’s tie. “I accept your resignation,” he murmurs, pulling Clint down into a kiss.

✨ Marvel Prompt ✨

Clint: I don't see what the problem is, Tony.

Tony: *Deadpan stare* Oh I don't know... how about you holding my hand, refusing to let go?

(Tony holds up the hand Clint is holding captive. Which also happens to appear to have handcuffs on their wrists, a long chain between them.)

Clint: *Smirking* Look, all Cap said was to babysit you and make absolutely sure you didn't do something you're not suppose to. He didn't say how to do it. Besides, look at it this way: you are handcuff to a hot guy who is holding your hand willingly. I think that is a great deal, don't you?

Tony: *facepalms* No, Clint. Not a deal. You may be a good piece of eye candy, but I would rather not be handcuffed to my babysitter. And I also didn't consent to the hand holding. *Takes his hand back.*

(Clint pouts, wanting to hold Tony's hand again, then decides to do something better. He grabs Tony by the waist and pulls him down into his lap, causing Tony to yelp.)

Tony: *startled* What the heck, Barton!?

Clint: *sad puppy voice* I'm not Clint anymore to you?

Tony: *irritated but feeling guilty* Clint, what are you doing now?

Clint: *happy* well since you didn't want to hold hands, I thought we could cuddle! *Holds tighter, voice turning hesitant* We can cuddle right?

(Tony couldn't say no to Clint, not with that shakiness in his voice. The hesitant and insecurities poking through. He knew he was a sucker.)

Tony: *sighs* Okay, fine, I'll cuddle you. But can you at least take of the handcuffs and walk me to my floor? Id rather be comfortable when cuddling than-

Clint: *Happy and excited* You got a deal, Tony, to cuddle!

(Clint carries out Tony, intent on watching him still. Though his mind was more on the cuddles than anything else. Tony gave in and decided maybe taking a break today wouldn't be so bad.)

Tony: Yeah, Clint, let's cuddle buddy. *Smiles softly*

Marvel Prompt!

Steve is walking towards one of Tony's 'relaxing rooms', looking for Tony himself. He had come back with Loki from a mission, both injured. Neither bothered to go to medical at all, as usual. Thor was looking for his sibling, intending to carry him to the infirmary kicking and screaming if he had to.

So it was a surprise when Steve bumped into Thor, heading for the same room. JARVIS had said that both were in this room, but left out that they were in it together.

Entering the room both Steve and Thor were surprised, the room being a small library. On two of the walls were large shelf's containing books, the rest of the room furnished with a few small tables and places to sit on the floor. Tony and Loki were on the floor by a window, a perfect view of the city, resting against each other. Loki reading quietly, while Tony rested with his head on Loki's should.

Both were clearly tired, sore, and physically exhausted. Steve, nor Thor, knew about their emotional or mental state.

Loki spots them, makes a sign to keep quiet, then simply reads some more. Steve shakes his head, amused, and Thor gives a small huff of a laugh. Thor walks over and gently pats Loki's head, murmuring how he loves him. Steve walks over to a section of wall to open a hidden panel, revealing a med kit.

Both Steve and Thor decided to give the two a break, letting them rest in their comfort place today. Tony hugs Loki's arm when Steve tried to pull him into a more suitable position, giving a small puppy whine. It also occurred now to the two that wasn't injured, the ones who had to patch up the wounded, that it wasn't going to be easy bandaging them up.

It was clear now, both were mentally exhausted. Emotionally? Strained, very strained. Nothing but some cuddles could fix it though, cuddles and snacks!

Don't worry, I still live! I love to create, and shall never stop! I'll be posting soon, just give me time. Thanks for the patience!

(⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠)

(⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠) Marvel Prompt (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

(Clint is walking to Tony's lab to see if he can help fix an issue with his bow, as he can't figure out why it is not retracting like it should be.)

Clint: *Walking into the lab* Hey, Tony, would you mind...

(Clint's eyes widen why he sees Tony, whom is wearing earbuds and hadn't heard him, as he is wearing a cat hoodie. A purple cat hoodie, that includes a tail.)

Clint: *Jaw dropped* Oh my god... Tony?!

Tony: *Startled by the shout* C-Clint!? When did you get here!

(Clint doesn't answer the question, he instead walks over to circle Tony. Taking in ever detail. Then he tugs on the tail of the hoodie.)

Clint: *Disbelief* Are you wearing a cat hoodie... That actually has a tail!?

Tony: *Blushes* Y-YEAH *Snatches the tail back* What of it?!

(Clint is blushing bright red now, having seen all of Tony in his adorableness. He can't completely process that the man in front of him is actually wearing a cat hoodie. That's purple. )

Clint: *Standing straighter* That's it.

Tony: *Confused and a little scared* ...what?

(Clint is standing in front of Tony in mere seconds, grabbing him and tossing him over his shoulder. Securing the precious cargo, Clint makes his way out of the lab. His destination: his room.)

Clint: *Dead serious* Nobody can see you in that cute hoodie but me, Tony. I declare that a new rule in this tower.

Tony: *indignant* This is my tower! Put me down, Clint! Do you even-

(Tony yelped as Clint spanked him. He didn't let Tony down till he was fully in his room, the door locked behind him. Clint set Tony down, then held him close to his chest. Clint nuzzled his head against Tony's.)

Clint: *Happy and content* Who's a good kitty~

Tony: *Blushing and... Excited* C-Clint! What the hell?!

(Tony tried to pull away, though he didn't really try. He had no idea what was going on or what he even wanted to do in this situation.)

Clint: *Pouting* Aww, Tony, nooo. Don't leave! I just want cuddles... Please?

(Tony hesitated, hearing the small plea in Clint's voice. He wanted Tony to stay. To cuddle him, for whatever reason. With a sign, Tony relented.)

Clint: Yay! *Hugs Tony closer*

Tony: Are you really doing all of this cause I'm in a cat hoodie?

Clint: *Pausing* Tony... you're in a purple cat hoodie, purple. That's my color, my favorite color. You wearing that makes you adorable, but the color is my color. I wear lots of purple. Seeing you wear it...

Tony: *Realization* I- You saw me wearing purple of all things... and you felt possessive cause I'm essentially marked with your color? And because I'm cute?

(Clint couldn't deny it, he saw the hoodie as a claim mark. Something about Tony wearing something so cute and bizarrely random, and in his favorite color, had Clint riled up. Just filled with the need to hide Tony away and wrap him up in blankets. To shower him in so much love, affection, and plenty of attention.)

Clint: *mumbles*

Tony: Uh?

Clint: *louder* I like you. Really like you.

Tony: ...

Tony: *Blushes furiously* Clint... I- I, uh... I didn't think you liked me at all.

Clint: *Blinks* What?

Tony: We rarely hang out together, at least not like how we spend time with the others. We don't really do anything together... Like I wanted to.

Clint: Tony, why did you think I often worked in your lab besides you when I could? Why I'd come to you when I needed to fix any of my gear? I wanted to be near you, Tony. Why...

(Something clicked in the Archer's mind right then.)

Clint: *Slowly* Tony... What do you mean 'like I wanted to?'

Tony: *Silent*

Tony: I like you too, Clint. I'm not good with feelings, so...

(Clint locked eyes with Tony. Then he planted a firm kiss on Tony's mouth, earning him a squeak. Clint was filled with joy and eagerness. He wasn't about to let Tony go, not when he knows now how Tony feels.)

Clint: *Breaks the kiss* My kitten. All mine. *Cups Tony's cheek*

Tony: *exasperated and emotionally drained* Yes Clint, I'm yours. You are also mine too.

Clint: *Happy noises* I know kitten, I know. All yours too.

AA ironhawk is such an underrated ship. These two have snark, have chemistry, and overall are just amazing in everyway! I wish people wrote about these two more!!! Especially in the AA universe!