The NI Series (2): Noble Idiocy And Ignoble Surgery

Responses from the non-human realm (Edited) 1. Elf sidekick

Your words have been wise - as much as any fairy. [Editor: *Blushes profusely*]

Gnome living is still living, and a life well-lived is still to be appreciated.

And maybe our wings will one day regrow, and we'll be even more magical than before.

2. Pumpkin-knitting cousin in eternal summer

I believe that the best way to do good in the world is to be yourself. While it may be tempting to pine for traits or characteristics that are seemingly out of reach, the key is to embrace one's own unique qualities and find ways to use them for good.

If you're a gnome, then be proud of it! Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do good because you're not a fairy. Gnomes have just as much to offer the world as fairies do.

3. Simulated realist

The keys to everyone's hearts may be more of a burden than a gift. Holding the keys to someone's heart can create a power imbalance in a relationship. It can also be overwhelming to keep other people's feelings in mind at all times and to make sure that you're not causing any harm. Without people doing the same around, this can lead to feelings of isolation. Don't envy the fairies. Support them wherever you can.

4. Supreme exterminator

Gnomes, fairies, gods, and mortals… it makes no difference. In the eyes of Eternity, they are all equally mortal. In the face of change, they are all equally brittle. In the pursuit of Eternity, they are nothing more than pawns to be used, or obstacles to be overcome.

Responses from the human realm (Predicted)

1. Productivity optimizer

If you have all the time in the world to do good, you won't feel the urgency to. The probable time complacence of long-living species offsets their chances to do good. Setting time limits for yourself is crucial in any task. Now excuse me while I get back to the spreadsheets atop my treadmill desk.

2. Involution coach

In this hyper-competitive corporate landscape, it's no longer enough to have an I- or T-shaped skill set. You need a pi-, or better still, comb-shaped skill set. Take classes in not only Gnome and Fairy but also Raccoon and Squirrel.

No, take that back. You need a hedgehog-shaped skill set. Make sure your Gnome, for example, includes Gnochemistry, Gnomadic Languages, Gnormosity Engineering and more. And your Gnomadic Languages must cover ancient Gnomadic epics, recent Gnomadic pop sensations on Tik Tok and Gnomadic computing.

Yes, I have a fondness for Māori art. In fact, my lifelong dream is a space sculpture where the patterns run from a galaxy scale all the way down to the nanoscale. Why do you ask?

3. Clueless media executive

That reminds me. There's still room in the market for Love Between Fairy And Gnome. We just need to excise the features posing product risks: the red-hat-blue-shirt thingy, the vertically challengedness and the white beard. There, we can now cast Handsome Oppar in the role.

4. Cynic

LMAO. You mean, who're the better hypocrites? Impostors or would-be demagogues?

5. Crystal ball-gazing, amphibious techie

Yo. Does no one see what I see? Talk about arms races. We're heading towards a wings race and a synthetic wings divide. Bionic wings. Genetically engineered wings. Wing stem cell transplants. When advanced enough, the post-gnome age will let the well-heeled buy the facade of niceness. Give full wings to the humanities first.

Devotion The Poets' Camp Prince Consort Xue Shao: [Y]our mother (Empress Wu below) killed her to fulfill the romantic fantasy you conjured on a whim!

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What If A Robotic Grump Takes Over H Instead??

Oh, so you’ve stumbled into the world of Eternal Night Star River-inspired aerial yoga, have you? Let me guess—you’re already rolling your eyes at the thought of flowy, ombré battle robes, aren’t you? Spare me your skepticism. You wouldn’t know genius if it smacked you in the face with a silk harness.

Yes, the participants are suspended in a dazzlingly white indoor space with proto-calligraphic scribbles on the floor. And yes, the harnesses are also ombré. What, did you expect beige mats and gym shorts? This isn’t your pedestrian yoga class where everyone’s draped in monotone mediocrity. This is art. It’s drama. It’s everything unthinking plebeians clearly lack the capacity to appreciate.

And don’t even get me started on the instructor. A mossy stone panda with a loudspeaker, you say? Oh, I can hear your incredulous snort from here. But tell me, genius, what were you expecting? A chatty human in a yoga tank top? Please. This is thematic immersion. The panda is iconic, unyielding, and probably wiser than you’ll ever be.

Then there are the assistants, dressed as oversized versions of the dust demons from the show—an absolute stroke of absurd brilliance! Are you squirming yet? Good! That’s the whole point, darling. They’re meant to unsettle you and make you laugh, to drag you into that deliciously awkward space where whimsy and discomfort collide. If you’re not feeling both, then clearly, you’re missing the entire performance. Do try to keep up, won’t you?

And for the love of all things celestial, stop sneering at the System’s motivational speeches. “You need not be a side character in your own story.” If that’s too cheesy for you, then maybe you are a side character. It’s not the System’s fault you lack the imagination to take the words to heart.

So go ahead, roll your eyes, scoff, and make your clever little quips. But deep down, you know this is brilliant, and you’re just mad you didn’t think of it first. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a transcendent universe to rewatch. Try not to ruin it for the rest of us with your pedestrian takes.

(With some human edits.)

:: The 100% human text version on the 100% human text site (except an instance demonstrating AI responses) ::

soapver4.tumblr.com

Many-Worlds Liminal Yoga

Physical Experience Bubble: A breathtaking network of yoga complexes and outdoor yoga locations in which thematically attired participants p

Alice in the Mart

—A rollercoaster-y reboot

In this AI mashup of Pegasus Market and Alice, a group of misfits at a failing supermarket headed by a ruthless demoted CEO determined to close it down discover in the basement of the supermarket a portal to a future world. This other world is called Alice, a parallel universe where anything is possible. The supermarket employees now have a chance to use Alice to find new products and ideas to save their jobs, whereas the CEO does his best to sabotage their efforts.

In the end, only one side can succeed. Will the employees be able to save their store? Or will the CEO succeed in closing it down?

Alice Promoter Droid (with real-time human dubbing in places):

Hey there, prehistorics, welcome to our hyper-advanced world of mealtime solutions in AL Year 160!

Employees:

We want to upgrade our instant ramyun.

Alice Promoter Droid:

A perfect choice! Allow me to introduce… Hydroponic Instant Ramyun! Simply put this widget in a pot of boiling water and wait 5 seconds! The Hydroponic Instant Ramyun has been infused with hyper-intelligent nanotechnology that turns water into instant noodles! With 13 flavors to choose from, there is something for everyone! A small box filled to the brim with packets of instant ramyun-shaped tools, with cool, futurist packaging. Lots of flashing colors

CEO:

How amusing. No processed food is truly instant. Guys, guys, let's launch a green campaign that gets shoppers to queue up for the ramyun for an hour for the benefit of environmental justice!

(Shoppers curious about the queue end up snaking around the street like noodles coiling around chopsticks. Hydroponic Instant Ramyun goes out of stock due to over-demand. Disappointed shoppers end up buying less processed noodles so that they get something out of the queuing time, and subsequent shoppers start to think that the amazing queue is meant for the less processed noodles. The less processed noodles become a sensation, driving up sales. The CEO receives his Earth Protector of the Year award with the scowl of the year.)

Employees:

We shall ride on the sustainability wave! Give us sustainably raised seafood.

Alice Promoter Droid:

I present to you… The Fish Printer! This amazing device prints out a random fish fillet that uses the fish's DNA as a template. No overfishing in the future, no siree! Enjoy the taste of responsibly-sourced fish! A large tube with lots of buttons

CEO:

What did the saying about giving a man a fish say? Hold pompous talks on every yawn-inducing detail about printer construction and assembly, right in the middle of the fish section.

(The tech speaker from Alice turns out to be a beauty tech-enhanced beauty who gets flocks of men shopping for fish alongside the housewives.)

Employees:

Alice is the Queen! Alice is the Heart of Hearts! Cabbages next.

Alice Promoter Droid:

I bring you… The Cosmic Cabbage! This cabbage is grown in interplanetary conditions, which creates a unique and delicious flavor unlike anything you've ever tried! Be warned, it may not have the same nutritional value as Earth cabbage. Enjoy! A large purple cabbage in a futuristic farm

CEO:

You get the origin of the name? Add cosmic garbage to the promo leaflets.

(The funny results become the talk of the town. Sales obligingly soar.)

Employees:

We're living the ultimate dream. What did we do to earn such a genius boss? What other magic can he pull off? Do you sell only mealtime solutions? We have a boring stationery section.

Alice Promoter Droid:

I am glad you asked! Try Venus-grown pens, made using the special materials found within Venus' thick, toxic soil. They are known for retaining ink for up to 200x longer than ordinary pens. They are also known for causing horrible mutations, cancer, and other life-threatening side-effects. It's a fun gamble either way!

Employees:

…

Alice Promoter Droid:

I can assure you, Venus-grown pens have been extensively tested. In lab conditions, we were able to reduce mutations by a whopping 15%. So come on and gamble your health for a fun little pen!

CEO:

I counter that offer! An Earth-bound vacation, on Jeju island's volcanic soil, for all employees as a reward for their mega sales growth! Why, I see, no one's interested.

Employees:

Me! Me! Me!

(The CEO smirks to himself. Surely the vacation will reverse the sales trajectory?)

Alice Promoter Droid:

I can help! Introducing the Stasis Capsules! Just insert yourself into the pod and select the desired duration, as short as you need, and the capsules will hibernate your body while your mind waves are sent to your selected vacation resort, as immersively as you want! You'll wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. Disclaimer: Some users have reported waking up with amnesia or as a different species, but it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Small pods with lots of glowing buttons

CEO:

Take your bodies to Jeju island too, you fools. Me and new temporary staff will cover for you.

(In a heroic shot, the CEO takes off his blazer and quickly rolls up his sleeves to go around peddling noodles, fish and cabbages, cursing himself under his breath. Rapturous applause breaks out among the employees before they thank the droid and disperse.)

Alice Promoter Droid:

(Smiling quietly to itself)

Take this along. I present to you the Stellar Compass! A device displaying an interactive map of all known stars and solar systems, and even calculating the fastest routes to whichever one you desire, wherever your happiness lies. A pocket-sized holographic display of our solar system in AD 2023

Credits

Concept: Bard

CEO's DNA: Pegasus Market

Alice Promoter Droid: Computer scientist Landon S's brilliant 2389 AD Designer + said human dubbing

Top image: WOMBO

Mid-Year Watching Theme: Wild, "Weird" and Hot Pink

CNN

Photos: Auroras light the sky during rare solar storm | CNN

A series of solar flares and coronal mass ejections from the sun are creating dazzling auroras across the globe.

Can a drama give any demographic a lifeline?

The big question: Did Netflix hit Extraordinary Attorney Woo improve the employment rate of any autistic population?

In Korea, the rate increased by 1.3% from 2022 to 2023, against an increase of 0.7% for the full population of the country, although there may be other factors at work.

The sources are indicated in the alt text.

nothing has made me feel like an ancient grumpy crone more than the “using chatgpt for school is fine actually” sentiment among youths

Thingamajigs have a lot to say today✨🖤

Escape From Everything Everywhere One by One —a film-inspired escape game

A series of escape rooms based on Everything Everywhere All At Once:

(Warning: Spoilerverse ahead!)

The first escape room: The first escape room is set in a laundromat, just like in the movie. The walls are covered in graffiti, and there are clothes and other laundry strewn about the room.

The keys: Players must find items that will allow them to travel to different universes. For example, they might need to find a pair of shiny buttons, a woman's and a man's, to travel to the universe where Evelyn is a movie star reuniting with her old love, or they might need to find a rock with googly eyes among many rocks to travel to the abiotic universe.

The puzzles: The puzzles in the escape room are all based on different universes that Evelyn Wang verse-jumps to in the movie. They block clues to the locations of the keys. For example, one puzzle might involve using the knowledge of a bagel chef to piece together the perfect bagel model, which acts as a knob of an oven cabinet where a key or clue to a key location can be found. Another puzzle would be translating Cantonese words on a signboard, by chaining up a jumble of bilingual dictionaries, only one of which contains English and none of which translates Cantonese to English, in the universe where Evelyn is a sign spinner.

The clues: Like in all escape game recommendations, some of the clues are obvious, while others are more obscure. For example, one clue might be a piece of paper with horrifying tax figures that would wake up even the deadest work zombie, while another clue might be a song lyric that only makes sense if you've seen the movie.

The physical challenges: Some escape rooms entail physical challenges. For example, in the universe where Evelyn is a cook contending with a rival who has a raccoon master, players can "knock out" an army of agile staff members dressed in raccoon costumes by hitting their fake tummies with paintballs. In the universe where Evelyn is an opera star, players are to wear Chinese opera costumes and gather in front of a camera within a time limit. In the hot dog universe—you've guessed it—players must work through everything using hot dog fingers. That, and playing piano keys correctly with their toes. The hot dog fingers could be made slippery, so that it's difficult to control them.

The ending: If players are able to solve all of the puzzles and overcome all of the challenges, they will be able to exit the multiverse through a giant everything bagel. Or maybe, they will beg the game host to let them stay for an eternity.

Obvious choices for background music: Laundry sounds, kung fu themes, Chinese opera, Le Festin, and the soundtracks of the film itself, In The Mood For Love, The Matrix, The Mask and maybe 2001: A Space Odyssey.

The escape room would be a great way to test film lovers' creativity and problem-solving skills while exploring the different universes that Evelyn Wang verse-jumps to in the movie.

Kindly remember to send this human editor and human generative filler the bagel donations.

small question, cuz I'm just curious

there are more infinities, but you'll have to explicitly mention them to vote em