Bucky Wouldn’t Be With A Rude Cunt Either Thx

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

well lucky for you it’s now national drink wine day so GO RIGHT AHEAD

i am physically unable to handle the fact that not only did pete davidson rejoin instagram, but he chose to only follow kim and fucking sebastian????? literally what is happening in the world i need a drink

ALPINE PLEASE AOSNSKDNDKDNFKFN I CANT BREATHE THIS IS SO FUNNY I LOVE IT

Alpine's Diary Entries...

This is utter crack. I fully blame and joyfully credit @navybrat817, @late-to-the-party-81, @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky and @sunshinebuckybarnes for the chaos you're about to read. This is unedited... godspeed.

I'm sorry...

As told by Alpine...

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Day 284...

It's been nearly a year since the man with the hard arm saved me from those scary dogs in the alley. We have seemed to form some kind of kinship since he brought me home. Other humans call him "Bucky"... I have no clue what kind of name that is, but I accept it. He and other humans call me Alpine. I have no clue what it is, but they are happy when I respond to it... if I feel like responding to it. This morning was typical, crawl out of their bed, go sit on Bucky's head to wake him up for food. He has a box that makes noise to wake him up, but like always, I am too hungry before the sound box makes any noise. He grumbles in his language and sounds like he’s bothered by me waking him - the man should be grateful that I even give him attention in mornings and in the evenings when I allow him to stretch out and lay on my big comfy bed in the living room, watching moving pictures in the electric box.

Day 285...

The other human Bucky calls "Doll" is here and they kicked me out of the bedroom... again. I do not understand their reason, but every time she comes out of the bedroom, she looks disheveled, walks funny, and has a unique scent about her. I've yet to figure it out. The only time I witnessed anything, I jumped on the bed once, and saw Bucky bathing her between her legs. It must have been during some kind of intense prayer ritual because she kept yelling "Oh God!"... humans are weird. I will never understand their practices. After that, I was banned from the room during those prayer times. I am surprised at how frequently they pray... mornings... afternoons... nights, and they can pray for hours. I will admit, sometimes, the sounds that come from the room can be... disturbing... my ancestors in Egypt were the ones being worshiped - why am I not part of this?! I may never understand.

Day 286...

I still have not figured out why all humans don't have hard arms. I am able to scratch, claw, nibble, and bite at Bucky's hard arm, but his fleshy one, he winces in pain, says things in an upset tone, and picks me up (which I tolerate sometimes) to move me. He walked in on me napping on Doll's chest today while she was napping - I was protecting her because he seems so fond of her. He had this dopey smile on his face and said something in his language that I still cannot understand while he gave me a few scratches behind my ears. It seemed happy because of the tone, however I do appreciate the care of *shaking food sound* ooh! Is that food? *sniffs* THAT'S FOOD - OMG THAT'S FOOD.

oh yeah it’s demon time 😈😈😈

Day 4: Thirsty Thursday

we all knew it was coming so bring it on baby! welcome to day four of the two year anniversary party, thirsty thursday! now i know you all know how this works and don’t need me to tell you but just in case feel free to send it

NSFW headcanons

NSFW edits

your favorite spicy fic

NSFW concepts about your favorite characters 

basically let’s all be whores together shall we? since we’re gettin slutty today anything that needs to be will be tagged with NSFW!

tagging some moots below the cut!

Keep reading

y’all need to start reblogging shit.

THIS IS WONDERFUL YOURE AMAZING AND SO APPRECIATED THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR WORK!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Prompt 3 you’re not going out in that outfit with dads best friend Bucky cause he gets jealous and maybe tiny bit possessive?!

For My Health

Summary: A dress a little too revealing leaves Bucky to brew in his thoughts.

Warnings: Smut, tiny itty bitty hint of angst, jealous bucky, hint of possessive bucky, cursing, I think thats it 18plus only

AU: dbf!bucky x reader

AN: Prompt from this list, requests are always open and appreciated so feel free to send some in!

Reblogs and feedback appreciated

MASTERLIST

Gif not mine

Bucky didn't know what to expect you to be wearing for your night with your best friend. But, as he sat in the living room of your dad's house, talking over sport nonsense, your choice of outfit made his blood run cold.

The neckline of the black lace dress showed ample amount of cleavage, thin fabric of the skirt flowing against your thighs as you moved across the room; looking for something.

"What are you lookin' for, hun?" Your dad asked as you felt underneath the couch, Bucky watching how the hem of the dress lifted on the backs of your thighs; giving him a nice peak of the cheeky underwear underneath.

"My other sandal. I don't know how they get thrown around." You huffed, pushing yourself back onto your feet.

Bucky did. The quickies before your dad got home were to thank for it. Which is why he reached behind the back of the couch, a black sandal wedged between the wall and couch.

"Here ya go, sugar." He said, swallowing thickly, ready to pull you onto his lap and fill you up. "Thanks, Buck."

You were unaware to the hard look he was giving, eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down into a frown. "What are you guys doing tonight?" Your dad shrugged at your question, leaning further into the couch as he brought his beer to his lips. "Probably watch TV and bullshit like always."

Finally looking at Bucky, your face dropped a little. Steel blue eyes burning into you as he looked you over, shaking his head lightly.

"Want another?" Your dad said, directed at Bucky who just nodded his head, not looking away from you.

You sat on the couch next to him and started to put your shoes on, cold metal against the skin of your thigh creating goosebumps. "You're not going out in that outfit." Bucky muttered, eyes dark when you met his gaze. "And why not?" You smirked, cocking your head to the side.

"Because, all of the boys will be hitting on you and trying to touch you. It's hard enough fending them off when you're wearing jeans." His hand slid dangerously high up the inside of your thigh, making your breath hitch. "Let alone this."

"Oh, please, Bucky. What are you, my boyfriend? Besides, you know better." You said, breathing a laugh as you stood. "Come over when you're done." He hummed, his warm hand trailing up the back of your thigh and over the swell of your ass; his thoughts churning with what he could do once he had you alone.

Bucky's hand dropped back to the cushion when he heard your dad's footsteps. "Be safe tonight. Don't drink too much and if you're staying somewhere else, let me know. So I don't worry." Your dad said, completely oblivious to the way Bucky tugged at the front of his jeans to relieve some of the tightening.

"You two behave, no trash talking me while I'm gone." You pointed, grabbing your phone and wallet. "Trash talking? How could we when you're such a good girl?"

Bucky hid a smirk at the flush of color his words brought to your face, sending you a wink as you opened the front door. "Have a good night, sugar."

Of which, you did. At a club not far from your home and only having a few drinks. That way you weren't too fuzzy headed when you made your stop at Bucky's on the way home.

That was until, hearing someone call your name made you turn around. The gleam of a dark metal arm under the multi colored lights catching your eye.

"Hey, sweet girl." Bucky smirked, catching your lips in his for a moment before you pulled away; looking at him like he'd lost his mind. "You're going to be the one to get us caught."

He looked behind you at your friend, a sweet smile playing on his lips. "Melanie won't tell, she probably already knew. She's your bestfriend after all."

You urged him to turn around, placing your hands on his back to guide him out of the swarm of bodies. "Yes, she may know. But, there's a lot of people here, Buck. You're suppose to be at my dad's."

Bucky shrugged nonchalantly, resting his hands on your waist. "Faked a work call. You didn't really think I'd let you go where I can't touch you in a dress like that, did you?" He chuckled, lowly. "I told you I'd come over later." You huffed, reaching to hold his scruffy jaw.

A brief kiss to your lips and he started tugging you along with him by the waist. "I couldn't wait. C'mon, let's have a quickie in the bathroom."

The devious smile on his face made your legs feel weak already, letting him pull you into the bathroom.

He checked the stalls before locking the door, fingers already tugging his belt when he turned to you.

Bucky couldn't stand the thought of someone else's grubby hands touching on you when he wasn't there to ward off the lingering eyes of some boy thinking he'd have the chance to get you alone.

So, naturally, he had to show up to stake his claim.

The front of your skirt was bunched up as his lips mashed to yours in a hungry kiss. Teeth and tongues gnashing together as he dipped his hand in the front of your underwear to glide a finger through your folds.

"Has to be quick." You reminded, breathless from the kiss as you popped the button of his jeans open. "Gotta make sure your ready."

With that he grasped the back of your thighs and lifted you, your legs wrapping around his waist and back being pressed the the cold, painted concrete wall; a shiver wracking through your body.

Moans echoed against the walls when he buried himself into your heat in a fluid thrust, the sudden stretch stealing the air from your lungs as his hips snapped into yours with such vigor that your lower back smacked against the wall repeatedly.

Salacious sounds rang back into your ears from the room around you, hands clutching onto the fabric on his shoulders for some kind of stability. Bucky latched his lips on the sweet spot of your neck, sucking and biting at the skin to form a deep purple bruise as his cock dragged against your walls at a pace that made you light headed.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" your breath caught in your throat, not even trying to stop the sounds from passing your lips as pleasure casted over the slight pain of his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass.

A groan vibrated against the side of your neck before he released the skin from his mouth with an exaggerated pop, pressing a much more gentle kiss to the mark left behind.

"Look so fucking good, couldn't get ya off my mind since you left." Bucky panted in your ear, angling his hips up to fuck into the rough spot that sent you over the edge.

A choked moan tore from your throat and body tensed from the wave of heat and pleasure that surged through you; Bucky not letting up on the ruthless thrusts as he chased his own high.

"So fucking wet and tight, can never get enough of ya. Fucking addicting. And all mine." He groaned, feeling the swirling in his abdomen start to build as your legs tightened around his waist; walls clenching around him again.

"Gonna give me another one already?" Bucky's gruff voice was nearly taunting as he looked at you, you're fucked out expression nearly pulling a low whine from him. A look only he had the pleasure of seeing.

You bit your bottom lip between your teeth and nodded, squeezing your eyes shut from the second wave of pleasure building. "Wanna hear you say it, greedy girl. C'mon, look at me."

You whimpered, peaking your eyes open to look at his lust darkened eyes. "Yes- Please, Bucky." You mewled, rocking your hips along with him, eager for the second high he managed to get you to so quickly.

Hearing his name shamelessly fall from your lips was all he needed, pushing as deep in your walls as he could go as he filled you with his release with a guttural moan. He moved a hand to press tight circles to your clit, a string of profanities coming out in a pant as you released around him again.

"So good to me, sweet girl." Bucky hummed, pressing a brief kiss to the corner of your mouth as he slipped out of you and fixed your underwear.

You let out a slow breath, legs feeling a little wobbly when he let you back on your feet. "Amazing as always, Buck." You breathed, running a hand through your hair.

He pinched your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, tilting your head up to look at him. "By the way, I am your fucking boyfriend, sweetheart." He asserted, tone stern but still sweet in a way.

A lazy, fucked out smirk pulled at your lips. "I don't remember that ever being a conversation we had." You teased, patting his chest. "Please," he scoffed, releasing your chin to jerk his pants back up. "I don't fuck you for my health."

Straightening your dress and smoothing out your hair, you flashed him a cheeky smile as you unlocked the door and went to find your friend.

"Jesus, what happened to you?" She giggled, poking the mark Bucky had left. "I told you. Insatiable." You shrugged, Bucky's hand gliding across your lower back and to your hip.

He pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, leaning to talk in your ear. "Enjoy the rest of your night. I'll see you later, sweetheart."

Do you need me to cyberbully your tumblr hater?

I’ll do it for free. Let yourself in my dms—let’s chat.

has anyone else been feeling really off lately? i can’t place it but everything feels weird. i feel like i’m just stuck in a haze in the void screaming and hearing nothing back.

this is the recovery bee popping in, gently booping your nose and landing on your shoulder to remind you that things will be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. you’re loved, you’re worthy and you’re important.

THEYRE GONE