A career for a career - Megan Fox deserves to have hers back. Michael Bay deserves to be blacklisted, something he had no problem doing to her when she exposed him for his awful, predatory behavior.
I didn’t even realise I did this. Almost subconsciously, it’s just the way my writing is. I thought it was normal…? Okay.
Hi, I'm rereading some of my work and I notice that most of the sentences start with a subject and it tends to get really annoying after a while. Any tips on other ways I could start my sentences?
This is a really common problem that I think a lot of writers have! Having a repetitive sentence structure without variation can make your prose really choppy, boring and difficult to read, while overall weakening your voice.
Here are some techniques to help you change things up a bit!
Very basic grammar: Every sentence has a subject and a predicate. I think when we think of subject in a sentence, we often think of person. This might be especially true in creative writing because we deal with characters.
For example:
Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. She felt a cold breeze blow through her. She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.
In this example, Amelia is the subject of every single sentence, and a verb is followed immediately afterward. Because every sentence begins with ‘Amelia’ or ‘she’, there’s no variety and it’s a little bit boring to read.
Here’s what it could look like if I switched the subject around somewhere.
She felt a cold breeze blow through her.
A cold breeze blew through her.
The difference is subtle, but now the subject of the sentence is the breeze, not Amelia. The sentence structure is still the same: The subject is followed by a verb. However, because the subject is different from Amelia, it still brings variety to how your sentences read.
Here’s what it looks like now:
Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. A cold breeze blew through her. She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.
Now that every sentence doesn’t begin with “Amelia” or “she” it seems a little bit more interesting.
So we changed one subject in a sentence, but we still have multiple sentences that have Amelia as the subject. It still doesn’t have too much variety in sentence structure, and as a result, it can be stilted.
So let’s try bringing a dependent clause before the subject.
She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.
Realizing that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather, Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.
By bringing ‘realizing’ before the subject, I created a dependent clause and succeeded making the first word something other than the subject.
However, because it’s a dependent clause, ‘realizing that she wasn’t dressed appropriately’ is a sentence fragment — it’s an incomplete thought. So I combined it with the last sentence to make it complete.
So after those two techniques, let’s compare the original with the rewrite.
Original
Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. She felt a cold breeze blow through her. She realized that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather. Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.
Rewrite
Amelia opened her front door and walked outside. A cold breeze blew through her. Realizing that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the weather, Amelia turned around and went back inside to grab a jacket.
Now because there’s a variety in sentence structure and subject, the paragraph is not only more interesting to read, it also flows better and more smoothly. It also has the added bonus of diverse sentence lengths which was lacking before, and it helps make the writing more engaging.
I just wanted to note: there is nothing bad about having your subject as the first word in a sentence. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to change every single sentence they ever wrote. Like in my example, the first sentence starts with Amelia. That’s fine.
The problem is that when every single sentence starts that way, it becomes repetitive. You can still have some sentences that start with your character, just make sure to throw in some other sentence structures, and your writing will be more engaging!
Outside of this specific example, you can also try playing around with dependent clauses in your existing sentences as well.
Jamie walked into the haunted house, despite her reluctance.
Despite her reluctance, Jamie walked into the haunted house.
The sentence is the exact same, but I just switched around where the dependent clause ‘despite her reluctance’ is placed. Even though it has the same meaning, it can provide a different feel or at the very least, switch up having your subject as the first word of every sentence.
I also talk about this in my guide about how to make your writing flow better. Sentence structure has a lot to do with making your writing sound cohesive and eloquent, so I would definitely recommend checking that out as well!
Thanks so much for asking Anon, I definitely struggled with this too when I was just starting out. I remember seeing how every single paragraph started with a name, and that was really annoying me, but I had trouble figuring out how to fix it. I hope this helped!
Jez believes in justice
Aureli believes in mercy
Scipio believes in what the situation calls for
does your oc believe in justice, or mercy?
I would love that! Even if I don’t write straight romance, it’s always there. Edit: I mean totally romance, as in that’s the main genre. Though I don’t really write hetero couples except for parents… Tender Tuesday seems great and would totally check in for that. Though my WIP right now is about scandals and and bunch of shit(see the debutante series which is what inspired me, though it has a darker feel) so it does include more sexual stuff. They are hormonal teenagers by the way. Wedding Wednesday might be good for those of us who have wedding scenes in our romance. For example, my WIP(Historical romance ) that I haven’t touched in years it feels like, the ending scene was a wedding scene the last words being “i do”.
I’ve been wondering for a while that I could make an event for romance writers (that includes of course every other genre you have a WIP with a major romance line in) because I mainly see fantasy stories getting attention and maybe it would be nice to gather with like minded people. (I’m thinking something like World Building Wednesday or maybe Flash Fic Friday or possibly both, except these would be romance related) On the other hand maybe there are mainly only fantasy writers on Tumblr and that’s the reason for the lack of visibility of romance WIPs.
Either way, please reblog this if you’re a romance writer/other genre writer but would be interested in a specific romance ask game/flash fic prompts event and yeah, I will try to come up with something if there’s interest.
P.S.: Boost this, please, even if you aren’t interested, someone might be xx
Fantasy Guide to Make-Up and Cosmetics
If I am to be completely honest with you all, I know nothing about make-up. Those little brushes and endless sponges mean nothing to me except the fact that they are really soft and sometimes shiny. I don't wear makeup so you can imagine how useless I am at modern make-up.
However, history is my jam and I know about what make-up they use centuries ago. So never fear @theflyingravenbird I got you.
Make-up and cosmetics of the past were usually sourced from natural ingredients. The more difficult the ingredients were the more expensive the cosmetic was. Natural dies such as red ochre and berries were used to stain lips or colour powder to use as blusher to add colour to the lips. For examples:
Geishas of Japan are probably the most recognizable make-up wearers in the world. Historically and in some more traditional okiyas, the geishas painted their faces with rice powder to give them that unbroken, white complexion. A popular recipe for their crimson lipsticks involved extracting pigment from crushed safflower petals.
Henna paste made from the eponymous plant can be used as hair dye and to trace designs on the feet and hands.
Kohl is a black powder that is famous for its popularity in Egyptian Cultures and even the Persian Empire. Kohl lines the eyes like modern eyeliners and is found when one grounds stibnite. Kohl actually had the luck of preventing eye infections which no doubt helped in the climate of Egypt and beyond.
The Phoenicians used powdered metals of gold, silver and other metals to dust their faces. This is reputably thought to denote their wealthy status.
Rouge or blusher has had numerous recipes throughout history. The Ancient Egyptians made rouge from red ochre and animal fat. The Romans made their rouge from lead and cinnabar, which sounds about as bad for you as you think it does. The Ancient Greeks made it from pressed mulberries or other fruits such as beet and strawberries. The Ancient Chinese made rouge from extracts of coloured flowers.
Ancient Chinese cultures used a mixture of gumarabic, gelatin, beeswax, and eggs to stain their nails. The colors were often used to denote social class. Gold and silver was worn by royalty or black and red. The lower classes were not prohibited to wear bright colours.
Lipstick has also a few recipes. Egyptians used pounded carmine, a kind of insect, to smear on their lips. Other ancient civilizations used red ochre. Vermilion (though toxic) was also used, along with crushed flowers with red pigment mixed with beeswax during the Elizabethan period.
During the late Elizabeth and then again in the Baroque period, women and some men began to paint their faces with white powder. The layer of white lead and vinegar, or ceruse was popular for tears despite the hair loss and death it caused.
Powderpuffs: the powderpuff was a pad of soft material meant to apply powder to one's face. They were made of feathers, cotton or sheep's fleece.
Brushes: Brushes have been been around for ever. They have been found in some of the earliest Egyptian tombs. The brushes were often made from animal hair with wooden or more expensive handles.
Pots of pigment, scents and ointments: Some early tombs excavated from ancient civilizations have included what amounts to a palette (thank you lil sis for that word). The pigments in the pots would be very expensive. Ointments and balms have also been found. Perfumes were very popular in antiquity and made a recurrence in Europe after the Crusades (which helped since some of the make up smelled awful).
Though make up is rather popular now, it had a rather uncertain rise to popularity.
Most Ancient civilizations wore some kind of cosmetic. The overuse of cosmetics in ancient times was frowned on as prostitutes and actors often wore dramatic make up however the elite often smeared themselves with powders to make them paler and redden their cheeks.
In the Middle Ages, makeup had a dual reputation. The Church frowned on it because it was again popular with prostitutes and actors but it was a common consensus that if the woman was scarred from smallpox or some other disease she was excused from being labelled as vain.
In the late Elizabethan period, theatres were getting more popular and as was makeup. Actors began wearing make up more frequently as did the elite. Elizabeth I herself was infamous for her milk-white skin. Make up became more sociably acceptable among the rich and noble at this point.
The 1700s probably saw the height of make up madness. Both women and men of the elite powdered themselves with white lead paint. They rouged their cheeks to high pigment and stuck small dots of felt to cover blemishes. The commons began to poke fun at the elite's strange obsession with looking like they've lost all their blood. Dandies and painted noblewomen were often poked fun at by pamphlets and satirical cartoons.
The Victorians frowned on make up, thinking it garish and common. Queen Victoria herself denounced make up as uncouth which lead the elite to abandon it in droves. However, most women prized a clear complexion so there was a lot of secret make-up-ing going on.
During the Edwardian period and the 1920s, make up began to get more popular. Older more respectable women began trying makeup to fresh their complexion. The younger generations began to experiment with makeup leading to the infamous smokey eye look.
I think I’ve seen this film before And I didn’t like the ending
So I’ve been reading some fics and hanging around the fandom. And I see a lot of things about what our favourite witches and wizards get up to after Hogwarts. I’m going to share some of my thoughts. The epilogue and Cursed Child don’t exist in this. Good that? Continue. HARRY POTTER Job: Harry, I think, would fit well as the DADA professor at Hogwarts. A final fûck you to old Voldy, yea? Besides, he would’ve been tired of fighting. Tired of playing the part. He’d fit well as the laid back DADA professor. I like to imagine he’d be sort of like Lupin. One thing I think might happen, but am not sure about, is that he’d go to the Americas. Get away from everything. Love: I honestly think he wouldn’t get with Ginny. From what I understand of him and would give an educated guess on, he would take that as a reminder of everything that happened. The war. The deaths. He might be with her for a while, try and appease everyone. But he’d just see Fred. He’d start to drift. Become distant. DRACO MALFOY
Job: While I don’t want this to happen, it might be possible that he’d be kicked out of Wizarding world in Britain. If he wasn’t, he would’ve became a Healer or an Auror(sp?). If he could get a job after the war, he probably would’ve faced prejudice and a bunch of shit. He might’ve left on his own. Obviously not giving up on magic, but just leaving all that shit behind. I think he’d become a Muggle movie star. Playing different roles. Not having to face who he is. Being able to believe, even fleetingly, that he wasn’t Draco Lucius Malfoy former Death Eater. Besides, he’d be good at it. He had to lie all the time. Mask his real feelings. Be someone he wasn’t. Etc. Love: Who knows? I ship Drarry aggressively so I’m inclined to believe that would find its way to work. Though he wouldn’t get with a Greengrass. Or Pansy. Also, he definitely wasn’t straight.
GINNY WEASLEY
Job: Chaser. It’s pretty well agreed upon that she’d become a Chaser for some team or another. I don’t really have much more thoughts. Love: Again, not Harry. I’m not sure how this would go about; she might realise that she was only really attracted to a Harry because he saved her. She might still love Harry but because she’s Ginny fucking Weasley who’s awesome, she’d forgive him.
NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
Job: Herbology professor at Hogwarts. I’m firmly seated in this belief. Love: Not sure. I like to believe he’d get with Luna Lovegood. They just seem to work perfectly with each other. LUNA LOVEGOOD
Job: Who knows? I think she’d either become a professor at Hogwarts(unlikely, but if so, she’d be Care Of Magical Creatures) or a writer for The Quibbler. Love: Again, who the hell knows? It’s Luna. I learned a long time ago not to try and predict what she’ll do or assume anything about her. Nope. Still, I’m inclined to believe she’d get with Neville.
HERMIONE GRANGER
Job: She’d definitely become the Mistress of Magic(Or Minister of Magic). After that, I’m inclined to believe she’d be the headmistress of Hogwarts. It seems the sort of occupation she’d do. Of course, she’d still be an activist. SPEW would have become a national organisation and succeeded in its mission. Then, of course, she’d move on to other ambitions. Each more noble than the last. No matter how ridiculous they’d sound, how impossible, she’d always achieve them. Love: Now this is a hard one to answer. I don’t like Romione and personally think it’d never work. Maybe they got married but then got divorced after a year or two. I don’t think she’d do much with love.
RON WEASLEY
Job: Auror. I’m certain of this. 100 p% certain. Love: As I stated before, Hermione but then they broke up/ got a divorce. After that, I’m not sure what.
My feelings are strong though few.
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Welcome to the future, where you don’t own anything and the stuff you rent stops working once your phone has no signal.
#storychronology
You might have heard about the advice “in medias res”: to begin your story at a point when the action has already begun.
I will illustrate this point with an example. It’s a simple story I made up for this post, but you get the picture. [Extensive image descriptions below the cut.]
In medias res (Latin for ‘in the middle of things’), will tell you that you shouldn’t begin this story with scene A, because there is little action in it. Scene B is also not particularly exciting, and both A and B are not very representative of the story that is to come. The most exciting scenes in this list are F and G.
There are a few versions of how you can start your story.
1. You could start your story with scene C, and tell your story chronologically from there, so you skip A and B:
2. You could start your story with scene F, and then go back to the beginning:
3. Or you can do the same with scene G first: how did she get into this mess?
4. You could start your story with scene F or G, and go back, but ditch A and B because they don’t fit in the theme of the story.
or
5. You could start with scene G or F and throw away the entire chronology. Maybe scene B is a flashback when she sits at the police station and waits to make her phonecall. She can imagine the conversation with her parents and wishes she was back in the orchard she used to play at when she was 8.
Personally, I don’t like option 2 and 3, because the less exciting scenes A and B feel even more boring after an exciting scene like F and G. But I’m just pointing out the options.
When you set out to outline a story, make it linear at first, make sure every causal relationship is sound, and then play around with the order of the scenes to make it more interesting.
I hope this was helpful. Don’t hesitate to ask me any questions, and happy writing!
Follow me for more writing advice, or check out my other writing advice here. New topics to write advice about are also always welcome.
Tag list below, a few people I like and admire and of course, you can be too. If you like to be added to or removed from the list, let me know.
Extensive image descriptions also below the cut.
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