I'm Currently Working On A Story, But My Motivation To Write Has Been Pretty Low Lately. I Think The

Spider Love Song

#3a273d | #483249 | #f7e6f8 | #d18fd6 | #342538

An interlude in the short series I've been doing, instead focusing on when Rane first started realising her feelings for Sophia.

An important first

Very few occasions call for anything beside our uniforms, since they've become the main outfit everyone wears at the base, so the first time I saw Sophia in a dress was a couple years after her release from the hospital, the pale flowers dotted across the billowy fabric, her light brown hair blonde in the sunlight. I thought I had caught an illness when she smiled at me, that laugh bubbling out of her like the prettiest bell. I didn't understand what I was feeling, the way she made my heart flutter in my chest and the air catch in my throat, until much later.

When she tried to ask what was wrong, I couldn't answer, any words dying in my throat with a strangled whimper. My face burned as I looked anywhere but at her, though I couldn't tell her that it wasn't from embarrassment, or why I didn't want her to see it. I didn't know how to tell her that she was the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen, how I wanted to see her like this more often.

My reaction upset her, but I grabbed her arm before she could leave, my touch as gentle as a butterfly's wings. I didn't know how to explain the sensations she was calling, so I apologized instead and asked her to stay.

I spent that entire night trying to figure out my feelings, sleepless in pursuit of what ailed me. I spoke with the guys about it the next morning, only to end up flustered when Don decided to start teasing me. Sergei chuckled before scolding him, and took me aside, giving me a moment to calm down before asking me more questions about my ailment.

I answered honestly, that my mind was still picturing the way the wind blew her dress in such a way to hug her body, that my face catches fire at the memory of her smile and that my breath is stolen by the memory of her laugh. He asked if I've felt these things before, and it gave me pause. I went to say that I hadn't, but then I realized that I had over the past couple years, just never this strong before.

When I admitted this, my voice a soft whisper into the light of the rising sun, he gave me a warm, knowing smile. He ruffled my hair, chuckling as he told me that I wasn't sick. I asked him what the problem was, why I felt such odd things about my friend, and he just smiled, telling me that while I might see it as a problem now, I won't always feel that way.

I got in an argument with my mother this morning. The context isn't really important, just know it was over it was over politics. But there is one important part that told me what kind of person she is.

I brought up how ICE is targeting schools, and how there's a very good chance that they're taking anyone who looks "foreign". I mentioned that a boy we know could be taken, because he's mixed but looks mexican.

She asked me why I cared so much. She asked me why I cared so much about a boy who's been part of the family since he was a few months old being taken away.

We're not even a month in, and I'm already so tired.

Don't you just hate it when your Internet goes out for absolutely no reason, only to come back hours later in worse quality?

Okay so we have this huge problem with forgetting about everything that’s happened by the time the next election rolls around so I’d like to keep a running list of things as they’re happening to help remind us when the 2026 midterms roll around. And please add to this if I’ve missed anything.

January 2025:

Donald Trump pardoned 1500 people who participated in the insurrection of January 6th, including those who violently assaulted and nearly killed police officers.

Donald Trump has declared that trans and non-binary people don’t exist.

Donald Trump is working towards firing everyone in the government who isn’t loyal to him.

Donald Trump has effectively fired everyone who he claims is an “illegal DEI hire” …whatever that means

Donald Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement and the World Health Organization

Congress are trying to pass the Laken Riley Act to, effectively, round up every immigrant in the country, including LEGAL immigrants

Donald Trump removed caps on prescription drug prices.

Donald Trump wants to withhold federal aid to help combat the LA wildfires and help the thousands of people who have been displaced and lost their homes.

The Department of Justice has put a hold on all civil rights cases.

Donald Trump has cut off aid to Ukraine.

Laken Riley Act has been passed by Congress and is awaiting being signed into law by the President. Here’s the breakdown of the votes: House Senate

Donald Trump purged a dozen inspectors general from the federal government and intends to replace them all with people loyal to him.

Pete Hegseth has been confirmed as Secretary of Defense. Here’s the breakdown of how the Senate voted. Note, it was a 50-50 tie that JD Vance had to break.

Donald Trump imposed a 25% tariff on Colombia after the Colombian government turned away two airplanes carrying migrants. Columbia has retaliated by imposing a 25% tariff of its own on US goods.

Donald Trump has also issued a travel ban for Colombian citizens and revoked visas from Colombian migrants coming to the US.

Donald Trump has now backed off the tariffs and other threats against Colombia. Note for future reference: this comes just hours after Trump made the threat in the first place and he and the Colombian president got into a big fight on social media.

Nearly 1,000 migrants were arrested mostly in Chicago on January 26th by ICE and ICE has been told to meet a quota of 75 migrant arrests every day.

Donald Trump rescinded an anti-discrimination executive order from Lyndon B. Johnson

Donald Trump signed an executive order banning trans people from serving in the military and also ordered that people who were discharged for refusing to get mandatory vaccines be reinstated.

Donald Trump has frozen all federal grants to institutions.

After pressure from state governments, activist groups, and the general public, the White House has rolled back some of the freezes on federal funding.

This.

Donald Trump is trying to fire all federal employees who don’t want to return to the office (work-from-home saves the federal government millions of taxpayer dollars in overhead). He also sent an email to federal employees saying that if they’re not loyal to him, they’ll be investigated.

Donald Trump has signed the Laken Riley Act into law.

Donald Trump has said he doesn’t think Palestinians should be allowed to return to Gaza but instead should be sent to Egypt and Jordan.

Also this.

Donald Trump has ordered undocumented immigrants to be sent to Guantanamo Bay

Donald Trump signed an executive order to expand federal funding for school choice programs. [x]

Donald Trump signed an executive order saying that he will deport visa-holding students who protest against Israel. [x]

Donald Trump has blamed DEI for the plane crash that killed 67 people in Washington D. C. [x]

Donald Trump signed an executive order that schools should no longer teach about racism and discrimination. And that schools should only teach history that is “patriotic” [x]

Florida Representative Anna Paulina Luna wants to add Donald Trump’s face to Mount Rushmore. [x]

Trump’s Department of Education has called book bans a hoax. [x]

I’ll keep adding to this list as new things come up and, again, please feel free to add anything I’ve missed. I know that in this world of constant news it’s easy to forget, so let’s give our future selves a little help!

I've recently passed 10,000 words in my original story. I honestly wasn't expecting to ever actually reach that number, and I still have so many chapters to go.

My country is beginning to burn, and my family is roasting marshmallows over its corpse.

They called me crazy when I pointed out what's going on. Told me that it's all fake, and that "they were saying the same thing when Biden was in office."

I hate being the only only one who sees what's happening. I hate being the only one who cares.

Another short featuring young Rane meeting her team for the first time.

A new friend, a fellow outcast.

I never understood the need for so many people for these things. Birthdays, graduations, promotions, even something as simple as the weekend drew humans together. I don't even know what the occasion was. The music is too loud, the smells overwhelmingly numerous musks and perfumes, my head is starting to ache from the combination, and worse yet, I am the only Whisper here so far.

Yet I couldn't leave. This was an intentional choice by my Dant, another test to see how I'd react, to see if I caved. It was stupid, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me run away like a kicked dog. I stand in one o the corners, watching the room with a quietly as I study the people in it.

Eventually I notice someone approaching me, and I have to look him over twice just to be sure I'm not seeing things. He's huge, easily towering over everyone else in the room, with broad shoulders and a build that looks like it was sculpted by artists. His pale blue eyes stood out against his dark skin, kindness sparkling in them despite his face being neutral.

He stops a short distance from me, and waves lightly. Confused, i simply stare before giving a half wave back, but he just smiles softly before starting to sign, "It's loud, isn't it?"

I nod, considering how to respond before signing back, "Very. I'm getting a headache form the sounds and smells."

He nods, and gestures for me to follow him, which I do more out of curiosity than anything. He leads me to a balcony looking over the Dex, and the reprieve from the party is an instant relief. I breathe in the fresh air, leaning over the balcony as I listen to the wind blowing over the base.

The man waves again to get my attention, signing once I look over. "Better?" He smiles at my nod, continuing, "That's good. I never really liked these, either. I'm Niko, the mule for your unit, should Sergei's request get approved."

I nod, looking out towards the lake before answering. "I'm Rane."

That's when I heard the oddest thing. A whispered voice, as deep as the rumble of a quake but as warm as the heat from a fire, "He did say you don't talk much…"

I look over, curious about what I heard. "Who did?"

Niko looks surprised, a mix of awe and confusion filling his yes before he finally whispers in that deep, rich voice, "You understand me…?"

I'm very close to reaching a third of my projected chapter amount, but it's looking like I'm going to need more chapters.

I've got the entire story for an original story thought out, I'm making progress on actually writing it, albeit slow progress. The main problem I'm finding is that whenever I want to share the progress I'm happy with, everyone I know is either busy, or "will read it when it's done", which my brain interprets as disinterest and just stomps my motivation into the cold, unrelenting earth.