Took A Fat Nap This Fine Sunday. Here’s One Way Bruce Could Become A Grandpa.

Batman #69

Bane, why are you naked and kneeling on top of the alternate version of Bruce's dad while you say both Batmans are yours?? that's suspicious

Skibidi die.

Switching between these every day

Final/Part 4: Messing with straight hair!

Bruce: Okay, let me get this straight-

Tim: More like let me get this bi you. 

Jason: Let us ace-ess the situation. 

Dick: Let’s see how this pans out.

Damian: I’m gay. 

Bruce: 

Bruce: That’s all great and all, but WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KITCHEN FIRE?! 

do not ask

do not ask me about horrible goo boys

Edit: took my notes out of the tags.

#because i have no further information. they came from the muck.

#bruce’s boss doesn’t fucking want them. she says theyre his problem

#congrats bruce. you cant rent a car but you’re a father of 3.

adding more notes:

it started with one. then horrible goo boy prime started... splitting. there were three goo boys by the time bruce fumbled together a chemical solution to stop the duplication process.

gotham is not doing so good, ecologically. bruce was supposed to be analyzing different samples of the goo that excretes from the streets sometimes.

alfred always warned that boy about playing with that goo. it's unsafe. probably. bruce has always been drawn to it.

the boys love to fly and go to school and fight crime and creep dad out.

I think we all headcanon Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen going to boarding school together but what if Lex Luthor went there as well…and they were friends. Like bestfriends. The kind of friend you talk to even after you graduate.

The JL undercover at one of lex’s galas to get some info on an evil plan he’s been cooking up:

Clark: can somebody cause a distraction while I go get the files?

Bruce:…..Oliver?

Oliver: no

Bruce: please?

Oliver: *sigh* fine.

Bruce: yes!!

Clark:…what’s happening?

Bruce with Ollie walking up to lex: if it isn’t my favorite ginger!!

Oliver: you can’t say that Bruce. He’s not a ginger anymore, he’s bald.

Lex visibly done with their bs: at least I assume it. What are you whores up to nowadays, adopting 10 kids per week?

Oliver pointing at Bruce: that’s him, not me.

Bruce: at least I don’t make one, on purpose might I add, and then proceed to ignore his existence.

Lex: you got me there Brucie. But I still can’t believe only one of your kids is biologically yours considering how big of a slut you are.

Bruce: it’s not that bad.

Oliver: you literally slept with Superman.

Lex who did not know that:…you slept with Superman…and didn’t invite me!?

Bruce: what

Oliver: what

Clark over comms: what