(Not So) Fun Fact: It Won’t Break Your Kid’s Finger, It’ll Sever It Off From Their Hand.

I believe the correct saying is: not the sharpest kned in the shife

Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.

I love Knox, and I think I want to be him because he’s allowed to be very smart for a joke like once an episode without being expected to be that smart all the time

Don't claim you like himbos unless you stan Knox from Some Assembly Required

Don’t be silly, Alfred would never let them walk around the manor with shoes on.

Tim Drake hc:

After rescuing Bruce from the timestream, the other Bats eventually notice that Tim is 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 without at least one weapon on him at all times. He usually has three (the small knife he built hideaway spots in all his shoes for, the larger knife either on his hip or shelved on his back, and a nonlethal option such as a taser), but he doesn't even sleep without them within reach.

The shoe knife was introduced to his outfits after the Titan Tower Attack. He wanted a hidden way to never be caught off guard again (he wasn't sure his precautions would be well-received by the Bats). The larger knife was added after the desert (Tim's not sure he'd resort to using it, but he lost two friends during a time he had only himself and them to rely on). The nonlethal one was added after Damian cut his line.

He does end up forgiving all the Bats for their transgressions and seeking forgiveness for his faults, but he's never without a weapon. He's learned that even "safe" spaces can suddenly become unsafe. He learned that, when it came down to it, he has only himself to constantly rely on.

Bringing attention to this ‼️‼️

How did you spend the ao3 shutdown?

I was busy turning my bathroom into a biohazard comparable to nuclear fallout because I’m stupid and ate an entire jar of roasted onions yesterday. And re-reading wfa.

Or an aneurism?

For the origins of this joke and also to see a very good video that I highly recommend, please visit this link: https://youtu.be/rvUzuK0ygI4?si=VGbBFyO49rie930x

*everyone existing peacefully*

Meanwhile in Gryffindor tower:

Regulus: I HATE YOU

Lily: OH, WELL NEXT TIME DON’T STEAL MY MONOPOLY

Remus: Sirius, give Regulus your 200$, you landed on his property.

Sirius: NO! HE’S IN JAIL! I’M NOT GONNA GIVE MONEY TO A CRIMINAL

Regulus: THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PLAAAAY

Peter: James, why is Regulus screaming?

James: Shut the fuck up Peter, you don’t get to talk after stealing my last railroad.

Sirius: I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN

Regulus: ME TOO, YOU THINK I WANTED THIS

All: AAAAAAAAAHHH

Said couple are definitely Tim’s bio parents.

*Jason, Dick, Tim and Damian peeking out the window*

Bruce: What are you doing?

Dick: TVs broke, so we’re watching a couple break up across the street.

Bruce:

Bruce: I’ll get some popcorn.

S3 Will both would, often does and has multiple times. No clue what happened to his self esteem/confidence in s4 but that applies to like 80% of all the characters in that season. (I have no clue what the writers were thinking that whole time)

Headcanon that Will becomes more comfortable joking with everyone, and when he’s losing Uno he gasps and touches the back of his neck and everyone starts flipping out so he can figure out his game plan with his three yellow cards.