That Wasn’t Even The First Time, It Wasn’t Even The 150th Time Dick Called Him Dad, But Battinson

Things that have slightly similar flavors, mostly when chewed on:

Recently hair conditioned hair.

Chlorine/whatever else is in pool water, but specifically when you chew/suck on something that’s soaked in it like for example: your hair, your shirt, your swimming clothes, a pool noodle and the foam ribbons on those toys you dive after that are meant to make it easier to grab them. (This can however be notably sweeter than a seatbelt depending on the soaked object.)

I will never again know the succulent flavor of a seatbelt

The surprise party is hilarious

Fuck it. So many of you asked for this so I’m delivering. English Willy part 2. Enjoy

(part 1)

The real reason Peter became a Death Eater was actually because Bellatrix has a truly terrific stash and the only way you could get some is when she’d occasionally share a little with the most devoted members after the meetings.

the marauders:

desi james potter

welsh remus lupin

french sirius black

high af peter pettigrew

I have triple the amount of cats as usual and am now in possession of an actual trenchcoat, the downside is that they’re definitely all trying to kill eachother, all in all it could be worse but it could also be a lot better.

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

I’m saving this for later

this took me an hour (well spent)

original post by @metallicat5678

Bucky is a disabled amputee and that should still be true in AU’s and fics in general

I don’t care if it “““DoEsN’t FiT wELL””” with your Stucky Coffee Shop AU, unless a fic is exclusively pre or during the war then he should be an amputee and if a fic is exclusively pre-war then Steve should be disabled because that’s what he was pre-serum. The reason why this is so important to me is because it’s important to have representation for disabled characters and we can’t just erase that.

The only time when neither one of them were disabled was during the few years between Steve getting the serum and Bucky falling off the train.

Also, fun fact, the type of amputation that Bucky has is either a shoulder disarticulation or (more likely considering how far the metal arm goes into his shoulder) a forequarter amputation.

And now, here are some suggestions for how to explain why his left arm and shoulder are missing: Cancer, him still being a war vet who lost it in action, an accident involving heavy machinery and bad safety precautions, a very large and extremely infected wound in his shoulder or the “very revolutionary” idea of just not saying how he lost his arm but still referencing every once in awhile that it’s missing and how he’s affected by it.

Just remembered that when I was 12(?), I was going to watch the hobbit movies but got distracted a few minutes in and then spent the next >2h trying to come up with the most regal sounding way to say Thranduil’s name and just repeating it an absurd amount of times.

(I had chicken pox at the time and was just very bored and sitting in my bed.)

Sorry my posts haven't been as frequent or funny as usual. It's because I'm eating well, sleeping regularly, and exercising

How Batman should die

Bruce Wayne attends a Gala. A previous Employee hijacks the event with goons

Bruce has hit the panic button. He came alone cause he got in an argument with some of them and the rest are busy.

Dick and Damian are rushing to the event. With others following suit when they can.

Hijacker asks if he has any last words.

He pulls out his pocket watch. Looks at it and smiles. Then he stares down the employee. Looks him in the eyes, knowing he can’t fight back just because of how many hired guns there are. They said if he tries to others will be shot. He dies or his kids arrive. Either or.

The guy raises his gun and fires while the others are five minutes out.

They arrive. The hijackers and goons are gone. Bruce Wayne is dead and cops are on the way

Later after his body had been processed Gordon returns the watch to Dick. He opens it and it’s a picture of everyone.

He wanted to see his kids one last time before he joined his parents

Same lol

This could be fun. I scored 11. How about you?