Abandon My Eulogy Ford Is Never Going To Be Able To Read Poetry Again. I'm Being Serious.

In a Cat! Stan au where Stan is some kind of small to mid-size wild cat, I imagine Ford would be in firm, firm denial that Stan wasn't just a feral cat while Fiddleford is pleading with him to send Stan to a reservation or something. Like, on his knees begging while Ford is just calling his idea insanity because, obviously, Nikola isn't a wildcat! Ford, 12 PhDs, would notice!

Fiddleford would like Nikola more in this AU, though, because I think with Fiddleford being raised on a farm, he'd know the wild/domestic division very well and would not expect good pet behavior from a wild animal. He would be annoyed as hell at Stan's innocent act with Ford tho.

I imagine if Ford realized Nikola isn't a house cat would end up with Ford 1) thinking Nikoka has been illegally smuggled into the US and 2) debating the ethics of keeping a wild animal just to decide it's okay because Nikola has obviously been around humans too much to take care of himself, and so Nikola needs Ford, and no reserve or zoo could do it as well as he can. Obviously. (Ford is 100% delusional.)

This can become even funnier if Ford finds Stan's car, realizes Nikola is comfortable there, and convinces himself Stan is the one who smuggled Nikola in the first place lol. This would lead to both mushy feelings as Stan, his brother, meets his beloved cat and angry feelings because Stan, his brother, yanked his precious cat from where he belongs; poor Nikola >:C Ford being protective of Stan from Stan is adorably hilarious to me.

If Ford never accepts this, I imagine him denying Stan's wild status even when Stan reveals his identity, and it becomes a running gag in the family. Ford is the only one who truly doesn't think Stan's a wildcat, but everyone else refuses to give up on the joke, and it drives Stan mad. Especially if everyone else was a big cat lmao.

Also, while I've imagined stan as, like, a black-footed cat or Asian wild cat, I now realize it would be even better if Stan was, like, an ocelot or a serval, something so obviously not domestic, yet Ford is in denial anyway.

Sorry about this being so long, I like to talk lol.

In an Au where Stan is a small wild cat breed, Ford is 100% in denial about it. Now, he isn't an expert on wild cats, so at first he just has no idea, except that if Stan is any breed that's very obviously exotic this becomes hilarious. Fiddleford is pulling up all kinds of books and articles about whatever kind of wild cat Stan is, and how he needs to find some kind of expert to take care of him, but Ford is looking away. Nikola is a sweetheart and loves him and is very obviously a house cat!

Fiddleford also excuses all of Stan's behavior as that of a wild cat who isnt suited to living a domestic life. Except that Stan is very much not like this with Ford, so whats up with that?

Ford lives in denial until they find Stan's car, and Stan gets very cozy with it. Then immediately he 180's into 'of course Nikola is a wild breed, and i bet Stan is responsible for this poor creatures poor socialization. Now he's too used to humans to ever go back to the wild so i might as well keep him :)" This is now just another one of Stan's mess's he's cleaning up, and there's no reason to look further into how Nikola got here or where Stan is now :):)

Then 180's again when its revealed to be Stan. No way Stan's a wild cat, that's his brother >:(. His brother couldnt be a wild animal. (This has nothing to do with jealousy, Ford just knows his brother). Ford was right all along, Stan's a house cat and nothing else >:(.

Basically no one is ever going to be happy with Ford's opinion on what kind of cat Stan is. He's determined to be difficult.

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

sonic boom au where stone is just a guy with power-armour(trademark eggman industries) but team sonic thinks he's a robot because what sane guy would willingly follow eggman of all people(joke's on them for assuming stone is sane)

thinking/initial designing:

and him and the others in situations (weirdly no TM) (huh havent not done situations TM in a while):

i love sonic boom guys :) (<- totally normal statement of totally normal guy who didnt watch all 104 eps over one weekend(while making notes) because he had one (1) au idea and needed to know the lore of the show infamous for having basically non-existent lore)

edit: now with a silly comic tie in! :)

(previously mentioned au details under the cut :) )

okay so.

lets go chronologically because that way i have smthn to come back to when i eventually have a weird side tangent about like idk the watsonian vs doylist explanation of his gloves.

they first got to know each other i would say around college, if eggman can study evil science to a phd level one would assume there would also be a henchman course.

or maybe a barista course, that sounds like a funny sonic boom bit ("being a barista? really?" "what can i say the school had range!"), in any case the details are irrelevant whats important is that they got to know each other and their dynamic evolved.

then disaster struck! stone disappears/dies in some kind of tragic cliche machine malfunctions way (maybe that's why eggman couldn't finish that phd... even those 2 credits were a little too much atm for him...)

fast forward: the show happens the way it does (and thats why stone had to be presumed dead - if there was any hope of him returning eggman's ass would not act like the lonely loser he is in the show.) and then mysteriously reappears (the same machine that took him away returned him from some kind of shadow dimension? alternate reality stone who burned his world to the ground after his eggman's death(we love a crashout king) found out other worlds exist and, much like morpho, emigrated? secret 3rd scenario i didnt think of yet? who knows! what's important is that he's back!) and joins eggman in being a menace of the week.

of course, he likes to contribute more physically, not just float above in the eggmobile, so eggman builds him an advanced power-armour to protect him (left-over guilt and protectiveness from what took him away in the first place? 😏 you decide) and also to give him these cool claws!!!! and taser gloves!!!!!!!!! because he would look so cool!!!! why not make his love interest favourite henchman (and definitely NO deeper feelings there WHATSOEVER thank you very much) as cool and badass as possible. makes eggman look good too, for making such a suit dont it!

anyway wearing what is only a few bolts short of a mech suit that distorts his voice paired with his cool [shadow dimension survivor/evil warlord/secret 3rd thing] moves makes team sonic think "oh wow, egg-head made an actually competent robot for once."

of course, wearing the aforementioned few-bolts-short-of-a-mech-suit does not, in-fact, stop Stone from being a very loud simp("YOU'RE MAGNIFICENT, DOCTOR!"). which makes team sonic come to some... conclusions.(except for sticks, who can smell the government agent on him and knows he's not a robot the entire time. nobody believes her of course.)(how can he be a government agent if he "died" at henchman college? good question! ......anyway.)

the conclusions eventually culminate in a kidnapping of an egg for an intervention. ("dude, we know you're lonely" "painfully lonely" "painfully lonely, but this is too weird, even for you. we didn't say anything about mom-bot, or steve, but c'mon man...") during which it dawns on eggman that they all think stone is a robot. not a flesh and blood guy.

so he for once has to be the voice of reason(he cant believe it either) and clear the room, even if team sonic is being difficult at first ("he's literally wearing a normal suit underneath my ingenious exoskeleton!" "oh we thought it was like... part of his deal." "like judge bot!" "or like that time orbot had an airhostess outfit on." "yeah exactly, your robots wearing clothes isn't exactly abnormal egg-face." "and we can't forget swifty the shrew." "no, we 100% can and will forget swifty the shrew.")

just as eggman's done clearing the air a murderous and helmetless (he just got back from whatever it is he does when hes not simping(maybe a knitting club! he seems the type) to not find eggman anywhere and orbot and cubot fucking floating around panicking saying he was kidnapped, his ass only had time for the electric gloves and the claw cuffs) and beats team sonic in like 10 seconds flat and eggman has to calm him down (wow twice in one evening being the voice of reason? what has the world come to?!) and explain the sitch to him too.

anyway bada bing bada boom, sticks was right(this does fuck all for her credibility like always), and after several bonding episodes where amy gets to know Stone better she plots to do another intervention for him for having such shit taste in men.

and that's about it yea :)

i have other scenarios and like pieces of funny little dialogues rattling around in my brain but yea thats the gist of it :)

if you managed to read this far i hope you have a nice rest of your day! :)

Just thinking about how mullet Stan would sob if he knew his future. Just the most soulful, happy tears ever. He did it. He fixed the portal. He saved his brother. He saved the *world*. He has a family and they actually love him. He's old and on adventures with his twin and has a psuedo-son that he passes his business on to. He punched a pterodactyl in the face and fought zombies and seemingly destroyed a being that was as close to a god as he could imagine.

Okay so I've been slowly writing down my thoughts and compiling a basic skeleton for the Twins in time, Oldies in the Eighties AU, where Old Stan and Old Ford meet up with their younger opposites in 1981 or 1982

So the duos are Old Stan and Young Ford in Gravity Falls, and Old Ford and Young Stan in wherever Stan was during his drifter days

And that's super fun and I can think about that for days, HOWEVER

They all need to meet up eventually, and I realize that when they are all still separated, I'm going to have to have Stan SERIOUSLY domestic Young Ford, and explain some shit, because otherwise Younger Ford is gonna get his teeth kicked in.

By Old Ford.

Because you cannot tell me that Old Ford wouldn't immediately jump his past self. It's on sight. That man has had his entire life to regret choices he made (choices THIS younger version of himself is making) and I fully believe that Old Ford is feral enough to swing a baseball bat at his own knees.

Young Ford like. Offhandedly says "Oh, some things never change, Stanley will always be immature." About HIS version of Stan, and Old Ford just cricks his neck around like the exorcist.

"Ford. You cannot fist fight your younger self. That's-there's so many things wrong with that."

"Let me go Stanley-Stan he's getting away! Stan! He's had it coming-let go!"

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happy pride to t4t with different transition goals

priorities

*as always: do not tag ship

love how netflix wanted to rush the zosan rivalry so much that they had to find a reason for them to not get along and it ended up being extremely gayer than canon

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal